Happy fucking Valentine's Day, whores! The big V-Day is here on Sunday and what are you going to do?! Here are some life-saving tips to help you survive the weekend:
1) Go to the fucking dollar store! You wouldn't believe the amazing shit they have in there that doesn't look like it costs a dollar, BUT IT DOES! You can get candy, cards, stuffed animals, and probably even some personal lubricants for only ONE DOLLAR!
2) Take your sweetheart out to dinner... AT MCDONALDS! They have a fucking dollar menu! Just tell him/her that you are saving up for your life together and/or that huge engagement ring! He/she will be so happy that you're thinking ahead into the future! But actually, you will be thinking about only one thing... step #3...
3) Dump that bitch! V-Day is so fucking expensive that you're better off single! Dump your significant other and head down to the bar where single girls/guys will be so wasted and lonely that they will fucking throw themselves at YOU!
Consider yourself eduKayted.
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