Happy fucking Mardi Gras, bitches! Today is the day to eat a shitload of food, drink tons of alcohol, and FLASH everyone you know! How are you gonna do this if you're at work?! You're gonna call out sick, that's how! Follow these easy steps:
1) Call your boss and make sure you are coughing throughout 75% of the conversation.
2) Say you have a "stomach flu" or better yet, food poisoning from that crazy new sushi place you tried last night!
3) If you're already at work, go to the bathroom NOW and when you come back say you just got sick and you better get home NOW or it might happen again! A 24 hour bug solves everything!
Go get your drink on! You better have a collection of beads around your neck by the end of the day!
Consider yourself eduKayted.
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