eduKayt's Tip of the Weekend 2/26/10: TigerText?!

For all you cheating tigers out there, this iPhone app can save your fucking cheating hide! Install TigerText on your iPhone and once you send a text message to your mistress, it will DISAPPEAR after the time period you set! It won't stay in your mistress' cell or in yours! It will disappear forever and you will get away with all kinds of shit. I don't condone cheating... but if you're gonna cheat, fucking do it right.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 2/25/10: Show Me the Money, Uncle Sam!

For all you sluts who haven't filed their taxes yet, keep these fucking tax credits in mind! You could get MAD BENJAMINS back from Uncle Sam!

1) Buy a house by April 30, 2010 and you can get a huge refund! $8Gs for first time home buyers and $6,500Gs for non-first timers who have lived at their current residence for 5+ years! If you already filed your 2009 taxes, file a fucking amended return to collect your cash!

2) If you're a student and you make $80Gs or less then you can file a credit for up to $2500!!!! Make Uncle Sam pay for all those classes you fucking fall asleep in!

3) If you've made energy-efficient upgrades to your home, you can claim up to 30% of those fucking upgrades!!!

4) If you bought a NEW car from February 17, 2009 until December 31, 2009, you can claim the taxes you paid on that fucking car! So if you traded in your CLUNKER for a new car, claim the taxes you paid on that new beast!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 2/24/10: Always Be Prepared!

If you are one of the lucky ones picked to report for jury duty, come fucking prepared! Most likely you will sit in a room from 8AM - 5 PM! The court does not provide food or beverages so BRING YOUR OWN! And they don't provide entertainment! Unless you can get the hot girl sitting next to you to start giving free lap dances, you better bring something to do. Books, magazines, crayons, darts, or anything that will keep you occupied bring it. And bring some bottled water and snacks so you don't have to pay for them at the vending machine.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 2/23/10: Go Take a Nap!

A new study came out that says if you take an afternoon nap, your brain is better prepared to absorb information. So go take a fucking nap! You can power nap it at 20 minutes or go for a full nap for 90 minutes. If you're at the office, just print out this entry and tape it to your door or your fucking forehead and take a nap at your desk. Those gel-filled keyboard and mouse pads make great pillows!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 2/22/10: 45 Days!

Thanks to the brand spanking new credit card laws, you have to receive 45 days notice before those fuckers can change your interest rates! This is a day to celebrate and go buy tons of shit! Whatever your current interest rate is, it can't change whenever the credit card companies feel like it! They have to give you 45 days notice... otherwise they're headed to the slammer! If your interest rate is something insane like 30%, try calling the credit card companies and talking them down. If you always pay on time, etc these things can work in your favor! And if some bitch answers the phone and starts laughing at the thought of lowering your rate, ask to speak to someone else! Most of the time THIS WORKS but no one does it! And you can hang up with a lower interest rate!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Weekend 2/19/10: Bug Off!

Happy fucking Friday! While you're out tonight at the bar getting drunk and telling all of your sexy co-worker stories from the week, know that you're not the only one celebrating the weekend. In your carpet, in your corners, outside your front door, and even in your BED are BUGS! These little fuckers are everywhere and no matter what you do, you will always get bugs inside your house. Well at least you can minimize their entry and put a kibosh on their little parties! Get yourself down to your local hardware store or Home Depot and grab some bug spray... exterminator style. I do this once every six months in order to lock down my fortress. Get a one gallon container with an attached spray nozzle and walk around your house like John Goodman!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 2/18/10: Give It Up!

It's that time of year again.... LENT! Here we are in day 2 of lent and are you still trying to figure out what to give up? Well let me give you some fucking tips:

1) Give up that morning cup of coffee! Screw the latte and you could save $3 a day for 46 days of lent for a total of $138!!!!! That's a whole lotta jesus money right there!

2) Bring your fucking lunch to work! If you spend $10 on lunch Monday through Friday, you could save $330!!!! There's nothing wrong with brown bag lunches filled with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches or your favorite ice cold 40!

3) Give up paying for parking! You don't need fucking valet! Park on the street and walk your ass to wherever you need to go! If you spend $15 a week on parking, you can save $97.50!!!!

4) Give up your first born! You'll save a shit load of money on college tuition, not to mention food!!!

Consider yourself eduKayted.