eduKayt's Tip of the Weekend 8/20/10: Mirror Mirror On The Wall

Mirror mirror on the wall... Who's the fairest of them all? Obviously it's fucking eduKayt! Now listen up for this sexy mirror makeover. Do you have one of those ugly "apartment" feeling mirrors in your bathroom or vanity area? You know the ones that take up most of the wall and are a large rectangle with a really thin mirror held on by some shitty plastic hardware? Well smash that piece of shit, because it's time for an upgrade. For around $100 OR LESS you can get a nice new mirror at the depot. Be careful with paint issues if the wall behind that POS mirror wasn't painted to match the rest of the room. Once the new mirror is installed, you'll have transformed the fuck out of your bathroom/vanity area.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Weekend 7/30/10: Take Care of Your Pussy

That's right, bitches. It's time that you took care of your cat and dog with a fucking yearly check-up! I don't give a shit how old your furry friend is, he or she needs a check-up once every year. Even if your pet has all its shots, a physical exam is needed and recommended every year. Make sure you get some flea control for your dog or outdoor cat while you're there. The last thing you fucking need are fleas chilling in your AC this summer.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Weekend 7/16/10: Load It Up

When's the last time you stuck your head inside your dishwasher and looked around? If it's been a while, I bet it needs a good cleaning! Yes, even dishwashers need to be fucking cleaned! Especially in the summer, heat and moisture get trapped inside your dishwasher. Heat + Moisture = MOLD. Sexy, eh? The good thing about mold is it's quite easy to spot. Usually it's black and slimy! Take a look in your dishwasher and if you see food particles or some mold along the inside, it's time to clean. Fill a bowl with 1-2 cups of white vinegar and place it on the top rack. Then run a load (sans soap) and the vinegar will disperse from the bowl and clean your dishwasher!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 7/13/10: Hook It Up

For all my earthquake dwellers, this one is for you. I know you fucking listened to me when I said don't hang any fucking artwork above your bed because in a quake, you'll be dead. Well now you can hang shit up above your bed! I found these fucking sweet picture hangers that prevent anything from falling or coming out of the wall because the picture hangs in a maze formation. You can get it on amazon for cheap. So go frame that sexy photo of me that you have hidden in your closet shrine and put it above the mother fucking bed!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Weekend 7/9/10: Black It Out

It's hotter than fucking hell on the east coast and the west coast is starting to warm up. Here's a sexy tip to beat the fucking heat better than lebron james: blackout curtains! You can buy new curtains that already have blackout panels sewn in or you can buy the blackout panels and attach them to your current curtains. The easiest way to update your existing curtains is to buy a double curtain rod and hang the blackout panels on the back rod and your designer curtains on the front one! Who needs a hotel when you have blackout curtains right at home!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 7/6/10: High Voltage

The day after a long weekend always blows... but what's even fucking worse is when you electrocute yourself! Continuing on with eduKayt's Essential Tools List is the voltage tester. We do a lot of shit that's electrical. After you turn the power off at the circuit breaker, it's always good to be a little ocd and make sure there is no voltage running through your outlet or wire that you're working on. All you do is take both red and black ends of the tester and put it up to the outlet or wire. If the meter lights up and gives a reading, that shit is still live!!! Abort mission and check circuit breaker again!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Weekend 7/2/10: Extinguish It

Happy fucking fourth of July weekend! Get your ass out and see some fireworks! Or set off your own! Either way, you will need to have a fire extinguisher nearby! Next up on eduKayt's Essential Tools List is a fire extinguisher. Not only do you need to have one, but you need to know how to use the fucking thing. Keep one in the kitchen and another one in a separate part of your house so in case anything happens, you are covered!

Want me to extinguish Oprah's flames? Vote here now! It's the second to last day to vote!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 7/1/10: Stanley!

Whip that thing out and let's fucking measure it. That's what you need Stanley for! Stanley makes a great line of tools and they're all in fucking sexy black and yellow. I prefer black and GOLD but that's just me. For most projects we do, you'll need a tape measure so you don't end up with shit all crooked and off center. That's why it's here on eduKayt's Essential Tools List. So get out and get a Stanley tape measure and let's see whose is bigger!

Oprah needs an eduKaytion! Vote now!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 6/30/10: Drill, Baby, Drill

Next up on eduKayt's Essential Tools List is a cordless fucking drill! I love Ryobi drills because they're easy to use and they get the job done. 12V is probably more than enough for household projects. That will run you close to $50 benjamins, but Ryobi makes other drills for less. Cordless is the way to go so you can run around the house drilling the fuck out of everything!!!

Want me to drill Oprah? Vote here now so Oprah can get eduKayted!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 6/29/10: A 2-Way Screw

A 2-way screwDRIVER that is, you sluts! Next up on eduKayt's Essential Tools List is a dual screwdriver. Get one with a nice, sturdy handle that feels good in your hand (that's what she said). The beauty of these little fuckers is that you can pull out the top of the screwdriver and go back and forth between a flathead and a phillips! It's fucking brilliant!!!

Want me to show Oprah how to use a 2-way screwdriver? Of course you do! Vote here now!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 6/28/10: Mr. Allen Wrench

Happy fucking monday! Monday mornings suck... but know what sucks even more? Not having the right tools when you are about to do a project! Let's kick off eduKayt's Essential Tool List with Allen. That's Mr. Allen Wrench to you. There are a shitload of projects we do that require either a big or small allen wrench to tighten something. Get down to the hardware store and buy yourself a set of allens. This Husky brand is less than $6 benjamins at home depot!

Want me to introduce Oprah to Mr. Allen Wrench? Vote here now!!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Weekend 6/25/10: Numbers Game

Want a quick and fucking easy way to update the outside of your house? Replace your old, dirty, busted house numbers! Get your ass down to the hardware store and grab some SEXY new numbers! I know you still have the same numbers that old lady left on your house when you bought it. Well it's time for a fucking upgrade! All you need is a screwdriver and you can update the look of your house in seconds!

Want me to give Oprah some new numbers?! Vote here now! Only 8 days left!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 6/22/10: Vent This

Now that it's officially summer, I'm sure you've turned the fucking air conditioning on at least once. Getting the most out of your air conditioning can save you benjamins!

1) If you're gone during the day, turn the AC off or up to 85 degrees. Then you can just turn it back on when you come home, bitch. Fido doesn't need to be chilling on your sofa in 68 degrees.

2) Keep your damn curtains closed. This will keep out the sunlight which creates HEAT. Your air conditioner will have to work less to cool the place down.

3) If there are rooms you're not in or don't use (or the basement), close off the vents in those rooms. Then the AC can blow more cool air into the other rooms, like your fucking living room!

Want me to fix Oprah's air conditioning? Vote here now!!!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 6/21/10: Organize It

Happy fucking summer! That means that for the next few months, you better be entertaining and having shitloads of parties at your house. What that doesn't mean... is you can't hide from your clutter anymore! It's time to fucking organize, bitches! The last thing you want is a guest looking for the bathroom and opening your closets by mistake. Then all this shit tumbles out and crushes them ala hoarders. Organizing doesn't have to be a daunting task. Start with one room or one closet and take everything out. Then go through it one by one and figure out what you can TRASH (as much as you can), GIVE TO GOODWILL (anything you don't want that's still in good condition), or KEEP. Then slowly put the keep items back in sexy bins and you're organized!

Click here and vote so I get a chance to help organize Oprah!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Weekend 6/18/10: Flappers For Dad!

Happy Father's Day Weekend! Get dad some flappers! No.... not that kind of flapper, you fucking slut! A flapper for your toilet! If you hear your toilet running after you flush it and this happens every so often throughout the day even when you're not using it, you need a new flapper! The old, shitty one you have now isn't doing its job and it's letting water out of your tank. So the noise you hear is the toilet filling back up with water so it gets to the right level! Lucky for you, flappers are cheap and easy to replace.

1. Turn off the water to your toilet.

2. Take off the tank lid and get your hands in there. Be gentle because everything inside the toilet is submerged in water 24/7 so the parts are delicate.

3. Unhook the chain from the old flapper and take it out.

4. Slide the new flapper down the overflow tube and secure it with the chain.

5. Turn the water back on and flush. You shouldn't hear that fucking noise anymore.

To hear a whole lotta noise, vote now for me to eduKayt Oprah!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 6/17/10: Clean Your Dirty Carpet

Do you have carpet in your house? Well when was the last time you cleaned it? Exactly. You have dirty, nasty carpet and you better clean it the fuck up! Don't waste your time with carpet cleaning services. It's much more economical to buy a carpet cleaner because you know the machine is NEW and doesn't have other customers' dead bed bugs all inside it. Also, once you buy the carpet cleaning machine (which starts around $75 benjamins or spot cleaning machines for even less) then all you have to buy is the cleaning solution refills. And you can clean your carpet as much as you fucking want!

Don't forget to vote here for me to clean Oprah's carpet...

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 6/16/10: Shady Flowers

On a budget for dad's day this sunday? Get him some SHADY FUCKING FLOWERS! Some flowers LOVE the shade... so if you don't get a lot of direct sunlight, go pick up some of these:

1. Impatiens - You don't have to be too patient cause they grow fast if you water them every day.
2. Fuchsia - These are crazy bright looking flowers with all kinds of shit hanging from them.
3. Hosta - Mainly green, but some have lines of white on the edge of the leaves.

That should get you started! Give dad some quality time and plant these with him! Guess what quality time is..... FREE, aka NO BENJAMINS REQUIRED!

Then hop on over to the internet with your dad and vote repeatedly for me to eduKayt Oprah!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 6/15/10: Dry? Wet? Vac It Up!

It's almost Father's Day so that means you're scouring the fucking internet for a good deal for dad. Every dad needs a shop vac! And so the fuck do you! Check out this deal at home depot for less than $20 benjamins! You can't fucking beat it!!! Not even with a VAC!

Let's not forget to vote so Oprah gets eduKayted! Vote for eduKayt on Oprah's network now! And do it multiple times!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 6/14/10: Oprah Needs To Be eduKayted!

Hey, Oprah, it's time to get eduKayted! Who wants to see eduKayt get her own show on Oprah's network? YOU FUCKING DO!

Click on this link to vote for my video.... and then do it again! Vote over and over and over again!!!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Highlight Reel Episodes 1-8

Check out the brand new highlight reel for eduKayt!

eduKayt Highlight Reel Episodes 1-8 - watch more funny videos

eduKayt's Tip of the Weekend 6/11/10: Watch This

More Lesbian Entertainment & Video

In case you didn't get a chance to DVR this, eduKayt was on LOGO this week! Check out this link to see the fucking video of the brand new highlight reel!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 6/9/10: Flow On The Down-Low

Are you still using one of those ancient shower heads? Well cue beyonce because it's time for a fucking UPGRADE! By replacing your shower head with a low-flow one, you can save up to a couple hundred benjamins each year! For instructions on how to install that shower head, obviously refer to eduKayt Episode #5 and as always...

...consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 6/8/10: Vote On It!

It's primary fucking election time! That means today you better get your ass out to the polls and cast your vote. If you're thinking that your vote doesn't count, listen up. You're fucking wrong. If everyone thought that, no one would vote. So believe that it counts and get out there to show support for your candidates. Voice your opinion and it will count. Get out there and vote. Now!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 6/7/10: eduKayt On TV!

The internet isn't big enough for eduKayt. We're gonna be on the fucking tele!!! At 4:00 AM tomorrow, Tuesday 6/8, eduKayt will be introduced on LOGO's show "That Time of the Month". A never seen before trailer will premiere with highlights from Episodes 1-8! Click here to see the show schedule and scroll down to 4:00 AM.

Make sure you set your goddamn DVRs now! Or for all you real ballers, stay up all night and watch it LIVE! If you don't get the LOGO network, call your damn cable provider.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Weekend 6/4/10: Donate To The Gulf

As you know, the gulf of mexico is being flooded with oil more and more every fucking day. Someone needs to do something about this. That someone is YOU. Just like you helped out haiti after the quake, now you can help out the wildlife of the gulf. You can donate $10 by texting "wildlife" to 20222 or you can donate online with the national wildlife federation. Let's all chip in to save the planet for our fucking kids.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 6/3/10: Pull My Knob

Do you want to remodel your kitchen for less than $100? Of course you fucking do! One fast, easy, sexy, cheap way to remodel your kitchen is to replace your cabinet hardware! I replaced mine this morning and god it looks damn fine. If you have old or ugly cabinet knobs and pulls, bring the old ones with you to the hardware store. Then pick out some shiny, sexy new ones that have the same hole placement and width (that's what she said). If your cabinets have no existing hardware, then get out your fucking drill! Measure where you want the holes and drill baby drill! Your kitchen will be transformed and you'll never look back.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 6/2/10: Filter Change

Summer is around the fucking corner and that means you'll have your AC on all day long. If you don't want to breathe in all that shit flying around your house, it's time to change your air filter. Whip out your measuring tape and make sure you get the right size. Then go out to your local hardware store and grab a new one. You can be smart and get a 2 pack of filters cause come the winter, you'll need to change it again.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 6/1/10: Label Your Breaker

Listen up homeowners: Anytime we do a fucking electrical project together, I remind you that this is not electroKayt. So in order to turn off the power to the room we're working on, you gotta have your goddamn circuit breaker labeled. This will save you from turning off every fucking electrical outlet in the house. Just set aside an hour or so, turn on all the lights, and flip switches one at a time. Have one of your bitches run around your house and see which room or appliance just lost power. Then label it on the breaker!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Weekend 5/28/10: Stars & Stripes

Countdown to Memorial Day Weekend: ZERO FUCKING DAYS!

You lazy bastards are probably about to get out of work on your fucking paid half day before a holiday weekend. Well head over to home depot and get some flags! Now that your outdoor area is all ready to go and that grill is warming up, you need to show your true colors: red, white, and fucking blue! Now grab some cocktails and let me know when to come over. The party starts when I arrive.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 5/27/10: Sit On This

Countdown to Memorial Day Weekend: 1 day!

Now that you have a grill and your garden is sans weeds and full of mulch and petunias, you need a place for all your fucking guests to sit! Here is a killer deal at home depot if you like martha stewart's jaun. I'd only recommend her cause she did hard time. Or check out this steal from target. Or even better grab a bunch of these from lowes!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 5/26/10: Mulch This

Countdown to Memorial Day Weekend: 2 days!!

Now that you got all the weeds out of your garden, let's plant some flowers and throw in some fucking mulch. You should know how to plant flowers by now, so I'm not fucking getting into it again. When you select which mulch is best for your garden, you'll see that there are many different kinds. There is everything from organic to wood chips to bark to straw mulch. I recommend Scotts mulch products that won't lose their color for a year and will help block your weeds!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 5/25/10: Weed It Yourself

Countdown to Memorial Day Weekend: 3 days!

If you haven't found the right weed killer spray or you are afraid about hurting mother nature or you don't feel like spending money on that shit, weed the garden yourself! Slap on some sexy gardening gloves and get in there. If the soil is a little moist, it makes it a lot easier to get in there... cue "that's what she said". Make sure you go for the base of the weed. Pull it out slowly so you get all of it right down to the root. If you only pull out the top of the weed, it will be back in days. If you can't grab it all out, take a shovel and dig that bitch out.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 5/24/10: It's Electric

Countdown to Memorial Day Weekend: 4 days!

We are counting down to memorial day weekend when we can all kick back and relax with some burgers and a fucking keg! Make sure your grill is in good shape since it will be in overdrive this weekend. What grill, you ask? This new fucking electric grill! If you don't have a nice farm for a back yard, you can get an electric grill that works just as well as a real one! It's on sale here at home depot. Don't let your landlord or building manager dictate what you can put on your balcony! Tell them to fuck off and plug this bitch in!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Project of the Weekend 5/21/10: Clean That Pussy

Has it been a while since you've groomed your cat or dog? Save some benjamins and do it your-fucking-self! Believe it or not, dogs aren't the only ones who like baths. Cats do too. Some pussies love to be wet.

1) Fill up a bathtub with warm water. Use enough water so it is just below their belly.

2) Use some pet shampoo and lather them up. Really get in there. It will be like a fucking massage and they'll love you forever. For cats, you can buy an anti-hairball shampoo. It's fucking amazing.

3) Take an empty pitcher and rinse them off with clean water.

4) Wrap them in a towel, sing them a song, and let them the fuck out of the bathroom.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 5/20/10: Not Just For The Fridge

Got a rancid odor you need to take care of? Did the baby spit up on your couch? Did the cat puke on the rug? Or did someone ralph in your CAR?! Well say good-fucking-bye to the smell with a little baking soda! After you clean up the mess, do a light sprinkling of baking soda on the area. It will neutralize the odor and fucking eliminate it! Leave it overnight and then brush it off or vacuum it up. If the problem is in an enclosed area (your CAR), you can also put an uncovered bowl of 1 cup of white vinegar in there. The vinegar will absorb the odor, too, whores.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 5/19/10: Strap It On

Planning some out of the country traveling? Well obviously you know not to leave your house without your fucking passport. The key is keeping it with you at all times while you're away. Make sure you buy one of these sexy leather shoulder strap jaunces so you know where your fucking ID is at all times. The last thing you want is to be ready to walk into the airport and you don't have your goddamn passport. It happened to lindsay lohan; it can happen to you.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 5/17/10: Who Verse? U-Verse

Ok sluts, I hate endorsing products because those fuckers don't give me a dime to do so. However, this is something you all need to know. At&t has their own cable tv called u-verse and I've had it for over 4 months now. You can record up to 4 shows at once, watch them from multiple dvrs in your house, and the menu screens are sexy. What more do you need? Oh, you need some fucking CASH BACK. Well those pricks over at At&t have deals all the fucking time. Like right now if you sign up for tv, internet, and landline, you get $350 cash back. When I signed up it was $400 cash back and it's all in the form of a visa gift card so it's like REAL FUCKING MONEY. And you only need to keep all 3 services for 30 days! If you're in no rush to switch providers, wait stealthily at your laptop for the deal to go up even higher and then BAM you saved a shit load of benjamins.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Project of the Weekend 5/14/10: Prime It Up

We're gonna prime your weekend away! How many fucking little paint spots or smudges do you have on your baseboards and trim? Too fucking many, trust me. It's time to do a little touching up, bitches.

1) Run down to your local hardware store and grab a small paint brush (1" tops), a small container of paint primer, some blue paint tape, and a paint stirrer.

2) Pull out those old sheets you threw in the closet from the last time you painted.

3) Spread those sheets on the floor so you don't fuck up your carpet or hardwood.

4) Use the tape to cover the parts of the wall you don't want to prime. And be fucking exact cause otherwise you will see uneven lines of paint and you'll be all pissed off.

5) Open up the can of primer and stir that bitch for about a minute.

6) Dip your paint brush in about halfway and start covering up those spots.

If the last time you primed your door frame was 17 years ago, then this primer will look really fucking white. So you will have to prime the whole frame, not just do touch-ups. Don't be a pussy... it will be ok.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 5/13/10: Microchip It

Do you have a dog or a cat? Scared they might run away? Well fucking microchip them! This is a procedure where a vet implants a microchip into your pet with a quick shot! And it's MICRO so they won't even feel it's there! Then if they run away and are found, another vet can scan for the chip and call you to go pick them up. It couldn't be fucking easier. If Joni from eduKayt Episode #8 had done this, whiskers' fate might have turned out differently...

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 5/12/10: Bag It Up

Heading to the grocery store? Well don't forget your fucking recycling TOTES! Fuck those plastic or brown paper bags for your groceries. These bags are easier on your hands, they hold more shit, they're sexier.... oh and they're good for your mother... NATURE. Some grocery stores are starting to charge for plastic bags so tell them to fuck off and bring in your own totes. Plastic is for pussies.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 5/11/10: Turn The Lights On

Before you start listening to your favorite Beyonce song Sweet Dreams aka TURN THE LIGHTS ON (yelled frantically) you better stop and listen! Don't turn the fucking lights on just yet!

While watching the eduKayt marathon in the dark on your projector, I know you've been going in and out of the kitchen grabbing donuts, cookies, and vodka bottles. And my guess is that you never washed your hands before turning the fucking lights on!!!! BAM, caughtcha bitch. Do you know how many fucking germs are on your light switch plate?!

Grab one of those sexy clorox wipes and go around your house wiping the shit off of those damn light switch plates. You and your doctor will thank me.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 5/10/10: Episode #8

The countdown is fucking over! eduKayt Episode #8 is HERE!

Click here to watch it on YouTube or click here to watch it on Funny or Die!

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 5/9/10: Word To Your Motha

Happy fucking mother's day! The eduKayt MARATHON lights up with Episode #7 starring the Fantasy Football Girl! Kick back and relax with your motha and watch it now! Click here to see it on YouTube or click here to see it on FUNNY OR DIE!

Countdown to Episode #8: T minus 1 fucking day!!!!

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 5/8/10: Furnace This

The eduKayt MARATHON heats up with Episode #6! eduKayt goes out to the country to teach you sluts about outdoor furnaces! Click here to watch it on YouTube or click here to watch it on FUNNY OR DIE!

Countdown to eduKayt Episode #8: T minus 2 fucking days!

eduKayt's Tip of the Afternoon 5/7/10: Sassy Brazilian

The countdown to eduKayt Episode #8 RAINS ON with sexy Episode #5! eduKayt in a tiny black dress, her golden cheetah, and a sassy Brazilian... what more could you fucking need on this Friday afternoon! Click here to watch it on YouTube or click here to watch it on FUNNY OR DIE!

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 5/7/10: Highlight This

Listen up, slacker. Did you miss the MARATHON of episodes 1-4? Well check out this fucking highlight reel! Click here to see it on YouTube or click here to see it on FUNNY OR DIE!

Countdown to Episode #8: 3 fucking days!!

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 5/6/10: Start Eating Some Cows

"You better start eating some cows, cause you're missing things up here." Another famous eduKayt line!

Here's Episode #4 starring a sexy vegan homeowner! Click here to see it on YouTube or click here to see it on FUNNY OR DIE and vote FUNNY, whores!

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 5/5/10: Cinco De eduKayt

The eduKayt MARATHON rages on with this 5 fucking STAR episode where eduKayt visits a Canadian Homeowner! Click here to watch it on YouTube or click here to watch it on FUNNY OR DIE, and you better vote FUNNY, bitches!

Countdown to eduKayt Episode #8: T minus 5 Days!

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 5/4/10: It's All About The Benjamins

The eduKayt MARATHON continues! The berating never fucking ends when I go back to Julia's to collect my benjamins. Click here for the FUNNY OR DIE link or click here for the YOUTUBE link!

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 5/3/10: Back To The Basics

Let's get back to the basics with eduKayt Episode #1! This week we're having a fucking eduKayt MARATHON to kick off the premiere of eduKayt Episode #8! Click here to see it on YouTube or click here to see it on Funny Or Die, bitches!

eduKayt's Project of the Weekend 4/30/10: Arbor This

Happy Fucking Arbor Day! The project this weekend is to go buy an arbor tree and plant it!

You will need a tree, soil, shovel, water, and some of those sexy gardening gloves. These trees aren't expensive so get your ass down to your local nursery and pick up a tree. Follow the instructions that come with the tree. It's so fucking easy though. Dig a hole, slap in the tree, fill it in with soil, and water it.

You can help save your mother NATURE and make your front yard look a hell of a lot better.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 4/29/10: Resolve This

Got a shit load of stains on your carpets? Don't go buying new carpet... RESOLVE IT! This is the only shit I trust. High. Traffic. Foam. It's the best fucking carpet stain remover out there. Don't waste your time or benjamins on other products. Resolve foam is fucking fabulous and you just cover the stain with it, wait 15 minutes, and vacuum that nasty shit up.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 4/28/10: Gas It Up

Next time you put gas in your car, don't be cheap about it. I know that's something I never fucking say, but I mean it this time. No matter what kind of car you have, you should fill her up with PREMIUM grade 91 about once a month depending on how often you drive. The more expensive gas burns hotter and this actually cleans out deposits left on your engine. So in the long run, I'm saving you a fucking trip to the mechanic.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 4/27/10: Insure It

Planning a big trip? Well it's time to think about some fucking travel insurance. Did you plan a trip to Europe a few weeks ago? And lose all your money because Iceland decided to explode? You wouldn't have lost that cash if you had travel insurance! If you're going away for the weekend, don't waste your benjamins on this jaunce. But if you're planning a huge trip costing thousands of benjamins or a honeymoon or some shit, you should insure it. It could be about 4-10% of the trip cost, but it's worth it. Don't be left in the dust. Or in the volcano.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 4/26/10: Po Po Shut Us Down

Do you know where your house or building's gas shut off valve is? Didn't fucking think so! If there is an earthquake, besides getting your ass on the ground and under something and protecting your brains and all, the next thing you need to do is find the gas shut off valve. When buildings shift in a quake, a lot of times the gas line moves and you can have a gas leak on your hands. All you need is a wrench and you can turn the valve to OFF. If you have your own house, you should know where this is. And if you're in an apartment or condo building, you should ask your management company. Turning off the gas can prevent explosions. Your building might not collapse, but if there is a leak, it can still fucking blow up!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 4/22/10: Happy Fucking Earth Day!

Happy Fucking Earth Day, sluts! Let's all give it up to you eduKaytees who have changed out your energy-sucking light bulbs for the energy efficient ones! You are making a fucking difference! And let's give mad props to Greensburg, Kansas. In 2007, an F5 tornado wiped out most of the town. For those of you who aren't familiar with TWISTER, that is one huge fucking swirl of wind. When they were ready to rebuild, they decided to do it GREEN. Most of the town is now GREEN and energy efficient. We could all learn something from Greensburg and check out their blog at http://www.greensburggreentown.org/. Let them inspire you to add solar panels to your roof and start buying eco-friendly shit.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 4/21/10: Light It Up

The heavens opened up and eduKayt said, "Let there be light, bitches!" Happy fucking earth week. Let's continue the trend by installing some solar outdoor lights! Fuck light bulbs and electricity. Let's go back to the basics with the amish and grab some solar stake lights. Mother nature uses us enough, so let's return the favor and use the shit out of the sun. Solar outdoor lights are available at your local hardware store and they are an energy efficient way to light up your path or walkway along your fucking white picket fence.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 4/20/10: Inhale This

In honor of earth week, let's go green from our plant soil to our fucking cleaning products. You have no fucking clue how many toxins are in your household cleaners and detergents. I'm here to clue you in. So put down that green joint for one second and listen up. There are a shitload of different lines of products that specialize in organic and eco-friendly cleaning products. Seventh generation is my personal favorite. This shit is a little more expensive, so normally I would say fuck it. But shelling out a few extra green benjamins so you don't spread toxins all over your house is a damn good thing.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 4/19/10: Soil This

Apparently it's fucking Earth Day this week. So let's talk all about mother nature and how we can jerk her off a little while making this planet a better fucking place. Let's start with some planting! Not all soil is created equal. Miracle Gro (my personal favorite) now makes organic soil. This is better for the environment and better for you and all your future generations and shit. So get your ass down to home depot and grab some Miracle Gro Organic Soil because this week in the LA area, it's nearly $2 off!! That's good for mother nature and your benjamins!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 4/15/10: Pay Uncle Sam

Today is the big day: TAX DAY. Make sure you get all your paperwork together and you get your fucking ass down to h&r block or the nearest accountant or online to download turbo tax, so you get your taxes mailed in time! The deadline is today so everything needs to be postmarked by TODAY. And send in your paperwork via CERTIFIED MAIL. I don't trust uncle sam to really be sure he received it and you shouldn't either.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 4/14/10: Fasten That Shit

If you're sick of my earthquake posts, go fuck yourself cause this shit is serious. In 2010 already we have had 70 quakes in SoCal compared to 30 in 2009 and 29 in 2008. What the fuck is going on?

Well it's time to get prepared and stop thinking the big one isn't on its way. Go down to your local hardware store and grab some furniture fasteners. I know you have tons of bookshelves or armoires or other tall, heavy shit that is up against the wall. Well when the ground starts shaking, that piece could come tumbling down and kick your ass in the process. All you do is line up the strap behind the furniture and secure the one end to the furniture and the other end to the wall. There are also smaller fasteners for heavy items like pottery or knick knacks.

Consider yourself eduKayted.