Tuesday, December 29, 2009

eduKayt Episode #5

Episode #5 is LIVE! Double click to see it on YouTube!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 12/23/09: Happy Fucking Holidays!

Listen up, bitches. Reach for the tissues cause I'm going out of town to shoot the EDUKAYT ON LOCATION episode. So while I'm gone, I hope you have a fucking fabulous christmas, hanukah, kwanzaa, edukaytkah, and new year! Don't forget to give your friends and family homemade gifts, and steal food/booze from every party you go to!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 12/22/09: The Early Bird Catches the PLANE!

3 days till Christmas and we have winter storms all over the fucking country. So if you're traveling, chances are you'll be slammed with goddamn airport delays. Make sure you get to the airport EARLY... like 2 hours EARLY. Otherwise, you might not make it cause everyone and their mom is gonna be there. Check in online 24 hours before your flight from hell cause this can save you time too. And we all know: time is benjamins.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

Monday, December 21, 2009

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 12/21/09: Homemade Gifts

We're in a recession, whores, so don't go to the fucking mall this year. Stay home and make some "HOMEMADE" gifts "FROM THE HEART"! Here are some of my favorite ideas:

1) Go to your local supermarket and grab your favorite jam. When you get home, empty it into a plain glass jar, tie a ribbon around the top, and slap a stick on it saying "from the kitchen of: eduKayt (or your name)". Everyone will think you're fucking amazing! They will be dying for your jam recipe and will never know you spent less than $5!!

2) Peel off the label/sticker from a candle you already have in your house. Wrap it up and give it to that special someone! Even if it's halfway burned, just say you ran out of HOMEMADE wax! They will be so fucking impressed that you made them a candle, they won't care if it's used!

3) Print out a photo of a homeless/sick child from a third world country. Stick the photo in a card with a note saying "In lieu of a gift, I donated money to send Pablo to school for 1 whole year!" They will be tickled fucking pink that you are so caring and thoughtful!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

Friday, December 18, 2009

eduKayt's Tip of the Weekend 12/18/09: Holiday Party Tips

It's holiday party time! And now is the best time of the year to save money on groceries! When you go to your lame-ass holiday parties this weekend, bring a LARGE PURSE and a few fucking napkins. Then, throughout the night, grab food, wrap it up, and SHOVE IT IN YOUR FUCKING PURSE! You will save a shitload of benjamins on groceries, and remember the holiday season is about giving. So let someone give you fucking food! If you're really ambitious, bring a few waterbottles and fill them up with free booze from your fucking hosts!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 12/17/09: FREE Cyber Sex----I Mean SHIPPING!

Thought that headline might wake you the fuck up! Today is FREE CYBER SHIPPING DAY! Hundreds of retailers are giving free shipping today for anything you buy online! So get out those fucking visas and start shopping like it's SUPERMARKET SWEEP, bitches!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 12/16/09: Goodwill That Shit

Got a bunch of old/semi-salvageable shit lying around? Take it to the Goodwill! Those bastards will take anything! Gather it all up now: your old clothes, electronics, computers, shoes, books, goldfish... and take it to Goodwill before the end of the year for a fucking TAX WRITE OFF! That's right! You can get rid of your old shit and in exchange get some new benjamins!!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 12/15/09: What's the Score?

Did you know you can get a FREE credit report EVERY FUCKING YEAR? Go to annualcreditreport.com and you can get a free credit report ONCE A YEAR, slut. It's a good idea to look at your report in case there are disputes you need to clear up with judge judy. Trust me: pull up your credit report now cause after the holidays, your fucking score will go down faster than mr. tiger's mistresses. Why? All those bills you'll rack up sending me golden cheetahs for christmas.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

Monday, December 14, 2009

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 12/14/09: Winter Temp Check

Here we are in another fucking freezing winter and people are still CLIMBING MOUNTAINS. First of all, if it's below freezing outside, RUN THE FUCK BACK INSIDE. Second of all, if you do decide to go mountain climbing, bring a goddamn helicopter with you. Cause if shit starts tumbling down toward you, you need to get the fuck outta there FAST. Third of fucking all, if you HAVE to go mountain climbing, do it in the summer. Or just come over my house and I'll satisfy your bitchin sense of adventure.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

eduKayt's Tip of the Weekend 12/12/09: Wrench It Out

You never know when you might need a nice, big WRENCH. This morning I was fixing my fucking kitchen sink and I need a nice, big WRENCH and I couldn't fucking find it. I think one of those goddamn monkeys ran off with it. So now I gotta go buy a nice, big WRENCH. Make sure you got one laying around because you never know when you might fucking need it.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 12/10/09: Take a Ride on the Amazon

It's holiday shopping time, bitches! If you want good fucking deals under one fucking VIRTUAL roof, go to amazon.com. Most of the shit they have on their website is FREE SHIPPING if you spend $25 or more. And let's fucking face it, Grandma's scarf and Billy's underoos cost more than that.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 12/9/09: Chain Me Up

Apparently it's fucking snowing all over the goddamn world right now. Do you have your snow tires on?!!! Now is the time to replace those shitty michelins with brand new snow tires and CHAINS. No car is a real car without CHAINS. Slap them on so you don't slide around on the ice like bambi.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 12/8/09: Benjamins for Caulkers

Who wants $12K.... I mean 12-fucking-thousand-benjamins?! Well I fucking do. Master in Chief Obama is trying to pass some new law that means you can get up to $12 Gs for upgrading your fucking shitty house. If you install energy-efficient appliances and insulation (in honor of Al Fucking Gore) then you could get up to $12,000. HOLLA! Start installing that shit now, sluts, and you might get a check from Mr. White House himself.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

Monday, December 7, 2009

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 12/7/09: It's Raining Car Washes

To all my Los Angeles whores, IT'S FUCKING RAINING OUTSIDE! So go park your car on the street and let it rain, bitches. There's nothing better than a free car wash... well except maybe golden cheetahs. To all my east coast whores, GO GET YOUR FUCKING CAR WASHED. I hear there's snow all over the fucking place and after 2 days that shit gets old and black. Clean it up.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

Friday, December 4, 2009

eduKayt's Tip of the Weekend 12/4/09: Show Me Your Dirty Laundry

Having an affair? Well nowadays everyone is, so I assume you fucking are. Let's all learn something from mr. tiger. Don't leave your fucking mistress voicemails, emails, or anything else traceable unless you want to get caught! If you really want to have an affair, do it the right fucking way. Whisper all your goddamn sweet nothings behind closed doors sans recording devices. You can get away with this, I can help.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 12/2/09: Get Your Cartridges in Order

Next time you click "print", fucking think about it. How much ink is left in that little bastard cartridge? The last thing you fucking need is to be on your way to a meeting and you go to print that huge report and there's no ink. Unless you keep octopuses on hand, stock up on some extra print cartridges for emergencies. Bada bing, bada boom.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 12/1/09: Power Up Your Smoke Detector

When's the last time you changed the batteries in your fucking smoke detectors? That's what I thought! Get that fucking ladder out and slap in some new batteries. So when the place starts smoking, you'll know! And make sure they're Duracell batteries. Those Energizer bunnies are for pussies.

Consider yourself eduKayted.


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