Friday, January 29, 2010

eduKayt's Tip of the Weekend 1/29/10: Don't Hit Record!

Next time you're drunk off your fucking ass (i.e. tonight) and you start getting horny, resist the urge to power up that video camera! All it takes is one short, little scene + one ugly break-up = A HUGE FUCKING MESS! Before you know it, your sexy partner is now your not-so-fucking-sexy EX and he/she has a copy of you doing the nasty! So please, don't record yourself doing anything with your clothes off cause one day when you think you've "left that in the past", the tape will resurface and you'll be fucked much harder in real life.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 1/28/10: Total Recall

Who you gonna call? RECALL! If you purchased a NEW Toyota in the last few years, not even Arnold Schwarzenegger can save you! Here is a list of Toyotas that were RECALLED due to the gas pedal getting fucking STUCK!

- 2009-2010 RAV4, Corolla, and Matrix
- 2005-2010 Avalon
- 2010 Highlander
- 2007-2010 Tundra
- 2008-2010 Sequoia
- Some 2007-2010 Camrys (only those with gas pedal assemblies made by a specific Toyota supplier; your dealer can check).
- No Lexus or Scion models are involved.

If you own one of these cars, get down to the dealership STAT, or at any moment you might create your own personal Autobahn!!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 1/27/10: EADD

Almost every fucking day some dumb ass celebrity gets arrested for drunk driving. I'm sick and fucking tired of it! If you are gonna go out and party, GREAT. Just don't get behind the wheel while you're still fucked up! Call a cab or a pony for christs sake. Don't drink and drive. You will fuck up someone else's life AND your own. Buzzed driving is drunk driving.

eduKayt Against Drunk Driving

Consider yourself eduKayted.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 1/26/10: Stop Sexting!

The next time you're driving down the highway and you think of something really fucking HOT to text to your lover, STOP and THINK. Do not text (or better yet) sext while driving! If you do, your ass is more than 20x more likely to get into a fucking car crash than someone who isn't texting (or better yet) sexting. Wait until you reach your destination (i.e. the pleasure chest) before you start typing that text (or better yet) sext.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

Monday, January 25, 2010

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 1/25/10: The Shredder

Next time you are about to throw away a bank statement or credit card bill, STOP and fucking THINK. You're leaving the door wide open for some sexy thug to steal your identity, or at the very fucking least, rack up a bunch of charges on your credit card bill. And trust me, hookers are expensive, so if your bill suddenly quadruples, you'll know why. Clearly, you need to go out and buy a SHREDDER. Let that beast eat up all of your sacred papers so no one can get to you.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

Friday, January 22, 2010

eduKayt's Tip of the Weekend 1/22/10: Who You Gonna Call?

Who you gonna call? The celebrity telethon! I feel so fucking strongly about sending help to Haiti that I thought you sluts should know that you have another opportunity to GIVE! Sometimes giving is better than getting.... just fucking trust me. Tonight at 8 PM EST on MTV, George fucking Clooney put together this star-studded telethon. So tune in, pick up the phone, and dial because one of your favorite celebrities might answer the phone!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 1/21/10: Tax It Up

Before you fucking know it, April 15th will roll around and you'll be scrambling to file your taxes. So now is the time to start looking for a good accountant! Ask around for a recommendation because if you want a killer refund, you need a killer accountant. You need someone who knows just how much you can get away with to have the IRS by the balls. You'll thank me when you get your huge refund check in the mail.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 1/20/10: Back That Thing Up

You're a big, fine PC... why don't you back that thing up? That's right, bitches, it's time to back up your computer! If you haven't purchased an external hard drive for your computer yet, go out and fucking buy one! Your sexy laptop or tower could die any day and then all of your files, photos, and music will be more lost than the TV show itself. You can get an external hard drive for $100 or less and it's benjamins well spent.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

Monday, January 18, 2010

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 1/18/10: Hold on to Your Butts

In Southern California, it's fucking raining power tools! When it rains in LA, everyone freaks out. So let's all take a long, deep breath and stay calm. Here are some rainy tips:

1) Stay indoors.
2) If you have to venture outside, USE CAUTION when driving. Do not brake abruptly and keep your headlights on.
3) Do not enter FLOODED areas. Tons of intersections are getting flooded and you never know how deep that shit is.
4) Make sure your household gutters are properly draining or you'll end up with a fucking swimming pool that you didn't ask for.
5) Keep some candles nearby in case the power goes out (which is already reported in certain areas).
6) If you live on a hill, get out of your fucking house! Mudslides are a real and present danger!!!!!!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

Friday, January 15, 2010

eduKayt's Tip of the Weekend 1/15/10: What's Your Fantasy?

What's your fucking fantasy? Mine is the Cardinals over the Saints, the Ravens over the Colts, the Vikings over the Cowboys, and the Jets over the Chargers, bitches! Sign up for your fantasy football line up right fucking now and you can score points online! You might even win a trip to the fucking SUPERBOWL! Go to NOW!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 1/14/10: Air It Out

Attention all my fucking homeowners!!! When was the last time you changed your AIR FILTER in your AC/Heating unit?! Yes, it's been that long, you bastard! Get your ass down to Home Depot and pick up a new one (these bitches are not that expensive--you can easily get one for 20 benjamins). You should replace your air filter every 3-4 months.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 1/13/10: Pay It Forward


Holla, sluts! We just had a massive earthquake in Haiti yesterday and shit is falling down left and right. I know we're in a recession, but I'm sure you have some spare change or benjamins that you can donate to the red cross. Trust me, it will make you feel fucking fabulous when you help improve someone's life. I always feel good when I'm eduKayting someone or when I'm donating my benjamins to a good cause. It's time to pay it forward.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 1/12/10: Let's Make a Deal!

It's time to play Let's Make a Deal! God I fucking miss that show. Anyway, behind curtain #1 you can get A NEW HOUSE! Behind door #2, you can get a HUGE TAX CREDIT! And inside box #3, you can get A GREAT INTEREST RATE! Seriously, bitches, if you are even thinking of buying a house, now is the fucking time. Obama extended the tax credit so you have to close by April 30th and first time buyers get $8000! Second time buyers who have lived in their current house for 5+ years get $6500! And houses are fucking cheap right now! Go down to the bank, get a loan, and start packing!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt Episode #6

eduKayt Episode #6! Here's the only footage that remains from my dangerous on location shoot!

Monday, January 11, 2010

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 1/11/10: Don't Shoot Em Up

How many fucking times do we have to hear about ATHLETES using STEROIDS? I'm sick and fucking tired of it. If you suck at sports without the juice, then DON'T PLAY. All these bastards keep shooting up and thinking they won't get caught. Start going to the gym and lifting weights or lifting cars, I don't fucking care. Just stop. with. the. juice.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

Friday, January 8, 2010

eduKayt's Tip of the Weekend 1/8/10: Show Me Your Goals

Happy Fucking New Year. Now is the perfect time to get out a slip of paper and a sharpie and write down all your fucking hopes and dreams for 2010. You might think this little activity is for pussies, but it fucking works. Whether you want new tits, a new car, or a new life, just write it down and refer to it often. Otherwise, you will dream your goddamn life away.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 1/7/10: Get Your Ass to the Gym

The holidays are over, bitches, and now reality has sunk in. It's time to get your ass to the gym and reactivate your fucking membership! You don't need me to tell you... your jeans are speaking loud enough! I hope you had your fill of christmas cookies and fruitcake cause those days are fucking over! It's time to get trim and slim and take advantage of killer deals on gym memberships!

Consider yourself eduKayted.


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