Monday, November 30, 2009

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 11/30/09: Cyber Fucking Monday!!


It's Cyber Fucking Monday, bitches!! For those of you living in caves, that means today is the day to get KILLER DEALS ONLINE. You still have a few hours left so get out your fucking credit cards and start clicking! I just found some discounted cheetahs from the goddamn zoo. What's better than golden cheetahs? LIVE cheetahs.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt Episode #4

Episode #4 is LIVE! eduKayt gets an emergency call to repair a TOILET! Double click to see it on YouTube!

Friday, November 27, 2009

eduKayt's Tip of the Weekend 11/27/09: Start Hitting the Mall


It's that time of year again! Holiday fucking shopping time! Today is black fucking friday and if you haven't gotten your sexy ass out to the mall yet, GO NOW. Just as a reminder, we're in a recession, whores. So stores are trying to make as many benjamins as they can. That means KILLER DEALS. Get out now and cross me off your fucking holiday shopping list. I need more golden cheetahs.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 11/25/09: Slap That Face Mask On


Who's traveling for Thanksgiving? Well if you're planning on going on a fucking airplane, don't forget one essential ingredient. YOUR FACE MASK. That's right, bitches. These sexy masks aren't just for dentists anymore. Make sure you grab a fucking face mask at your local pharmacy or hardware store before boarding that fucking aircraft. Otherwise, you might end up with turkey and a side of SWINE.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

Monday, November 23, 2009

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 11/23/09: Don't Cut in Line


Listen up all you LINE CUTTERS: fucking STOP. Choosing which line to go in at the end of your walmart, target, or department store experience is a difficult one. And once you choose a line, the last thing you want is FUCKING WHORES trying to cut in front of you. So, to all those FUCKING WHORES: STOP CUTTING. We don't appreciate it. Wait your turn, just like everybody else, you sluts. The next time someone tries cutting in front of me, THEY'RE GONNA GET CUT.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

Friday, November 20, 2009

eduKayt's Tip of the Weekend 11/20/09: Turkey Baste That Shit


Time to get ready for fucking Thanksgiving, bitches! Start getting supplies now: like a TURKEY BASTER. No turkey is complete without a full basting so grab your goddamn keys and go buy yourself a fucking turkey baster NOW! If you happen to live in an area heavily populated by LESBIANS, the turkey basters might be on backorder. SO GO RESERVE YOURS TODAY!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 11/19/09: Vehicle Registration


Is your vehicle registration up to date? Well, John Kerry's daughter forgot to fucking update hers and the bitch got pulled over. Listen up: we are in a fucking recession. The cops are DESPERATE. They will pull your ass over for going 5 mph over the fucking speed limit. So if your registration is expired, you better believe they will fucking arrest you. Go update that shit or enjoy spending the night in the clink.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 11/18/09: Change it Up


It's time to change your fucking passwords! If you haven't changed your computer passwords recently, DO IT NOW. Change your password on your computer log in, your email, and all those porn websites you subscribe to. Unless you want your twitter hacked like Britney, make sure all your fucking passwords are different. And make sure you don't use the top 2 most commonly used passwords: edukayt and sex.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 11/17/09: Fly Away Home


Traveling for the holidays? Now is the fucking time to snatch up those amazing deals on plane tickets. You can use my personal favorite pinpointtravel.com and southwest never fucking hurt anybody. They have amazing deals and there is no bullshit baggage fee, which is fucking priceless. So start booking travel now for great deals or kiss the deals goodbye.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

Monday, November 16, 2009

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 11/16/09: Dessert or Disaster?


What we gonna have... dessert or disaster? Well, if you take a pyrex baking dish out of the hot fucking oven and place it on a glass table top, WE'RE GONNA HAVE DISASTER. Listen up young bucks: If you have a glass table top, put a goddamn pot holder underneath that piping hot baking dish. If you don't, the hot as balls pyrex dish will LITERALLY MELT the glass table top. And it will fucking break. And it will fall on the fucking floor. And there will be pieces of hot glass every-fucking-where. And if you're renting a vacation house and this happens there, you will lose your fucking deposit. Just saying.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

Friday, November 13, 2009

eduKayt's Tip of the Weekend 11/13/09: Road Trip


Going out of town this weekend? Well, before you do make sure you get your fucking car serviced. You don't want to end up half way to Vegas with your engine all fucked up. And stock up on those travel size shampoo and body wash containers. They always come in handy. I'm on my way to Vegas for the fight weekend. Peace bitches.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 11/12/09: The Colder the Better


Next time you throw that load of laundry in the washer, turn the fucking dial to COLD. Washing your clothes in cold water saves a shit load of money and it may or may not help the environment. But honestly, who gives a fuck about the environment when you can be saving benjamins. And only do laundry when you have a full load... otherwise it's like throwing your wallet down the fucking drain.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 11/11/09: Suck it Up


When was the last time you changed your vacuum filter? That's what I fucking thought. The one thing you want in your life that really sucks is your vacuum cleaner. And if you don't change the goddamn filter, IT WON'T. So go buy a new filter at target or walmart or amazon.com for all I fucking care. Just do it.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

eduKayt Episode #3

Episode #3 is finally here! Double click to see it on YouTube!!

Friday, November 6, 2009

eduKayt's Tip of the Weekend 11/6/09: Always Be Fucking Prepared


It's that time of year, sluts. Time to put that fucking ice scraper / umbrella in your trunk. Depending on where you live, it's cold as fuck out there and we're approaching WINTER time. So for my east coasters, get that ice scraper in the back of your car now. For my Angelinos, throw that umbrella in your car. Follow my motto: always be fucking prepared. I'm like a goddamn girl scout.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 11/5/09: Close Your Damn Curtains


Now that it gets dark so damn early, start closing your fucking curtains when the sun goes down. This will keep the hot air inside your place so it doesn't leak out your fucking windows. You might even save some benjamins on your heating bill this year, bitch.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 11/4/09: Voting is Sexy


It's fucking election day! Ok, not for anything huge like the fucking presidency, but nonetheless, now is the time to register to vote. Have you changed your address recently? Switched over from the dark side to the DEMOCRATIC party? Either way, make sure you're registered to vote. And when the polls open, get your ass out and pull that lever.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 11/3/09: Clean Yourself Up, You're Under Arrest


I've seen a lot of fucking cops prowling around lately. This whole goddamn country is poor as shit, and the pigs are getting desperate. You better start watching that speedometer and ease off that gas pedal, or you'll be sorry bitch. If you go 5 mph over the speed limit, be prepared to get arrested. And I mean prepared.... touch up your make-up, brush your hair, and pop some gum in your mouth so you don't end up looking like this whore.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

Monday, November 2, 2009

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 11/2/09: Better to be Fresh than Stale


Tis the season to slap some new baking soda in your fridge and freezer. Don't let your food start smelling like shit. Just grab two of these sexy containers, open them, and throw one in your fridge and one in your fucking freezer. All of a sudden, your food will smell de-fucking-licious. Enjoy!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

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