eduKayt

eduKayt's Tip of the Weekend 8/20/10: Mirror Mirror On The Wall

2010-08-20T11:13:00.000-07:00

Mirror mirror on the wall... Who's the fairest of them all? Obviously it's fucking eduKayt! Now listen up for this sexy mirror makeover. Do you have one of those ugly "apartment" feeling mirrors in your bathroom or vanity area? You know the ones that take up most of the wall and are a large rectangle with a really thin mirror held on by some shitty plastic hardware? Well smash that piece of shit, because it's time for an upgrade. For around $100 OR LESS you can get a nice new mirror at the depot. Be careful with paint issues if the wall behind that POS mirror wasn't painted to match the rest of the room. Once the new mirror is installed, you'll have transformed the fuck out of your bathroom/vanity area.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Weekend 7/30/10: Take Care of Your Pussy

2010-07-30T13:22:00.000-07:00

That's right, bitches. It's time that you took care of your cat and dog with a fucking yearly check-up! I don't give a shit how old your furry friend is, he or she needs a check-up once every year. Even if your pet has all its shots, a physical exam is needed and recommended every year. Make sure you get some flea control for your dog or outdoor cat while you're there. The last thing you fucking need are fleas chilling in your AC this summer.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Weekend 7/16/10: Load It Up

2010-07-16T12:31:00.000-07:00

When's the last time you stuck your head inside your dishwasher and looked around? If it's been a while, I bet it needs a good cleaning! Yes, even dishwashers need to be fucking cleaned! Especially in the summer, heat and moisture get trapped inside your dishwasher. Heat + Moisture = MOLD. Sexy, eh? The good thing about mold is it's quite easy to spot. Usually it's black and slimy! Take a look in your dishwasher and if you see food particles or some mold along the inside, it's time to clean. Fill a bowl with 1-2 cups of white vinegar and place it on the top rack. Then run a load (sans soap) and the vinegar will disperse from the bowl and clean your dishwasher!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 7/13/10: Hook It Up

2010-07-13T10:34:00.000-07:00

For all my earthquake dwellers, this one is for you. I know you fucking listened to me when I said don't hang any fucking artwork above your bed because in a quake, you'll be dead. Well now you can hang shit up above your bed! I found these fucking sweet picture hangers that prevent anything from falling or coming out of the wall because the picture hangs in a maze formation. You can get it on amazon for cheap. So go frame that sexy photo of me that you have hidden in your closet shrine and put it above the mother fucking bed!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Weekend 7/9/10: Black It Out

2010-07-09T11:38:00.000-07:00

It's hotter than fucking hell on the east coast and the west coast is starting to warm up. Here's a sexy tip to beat the fucking heat better than lebron james: blackout curtains! You can buy new curtains that already have blackout panels sewn in or you can buy the blackout panels and attach them to your current curtains. The easiest way to update your existing curtains is to buy a double curtain rod and hang the blackout panels on the back rod and your designer curtains on the front one! Who needs a hotel when you have blackout curtains right at home!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 7/6/10: High Voltage

2010-07-06T11:05:00.000-07:00

The day after a long weekend always blows... but what's even fucking worse is when you electrocute yourself! Continuing on with eduKayt's Essential Tools List is the voltage tester. We do a lot of shit that's electrical. After you turn the power off at the circuit breaker, it's always good to be a little ocd and make sure there is no voltage running through your outlet or wire that you're working on. All you do is take both red and black ends of the tester and put it up to the outlet or wire. If the meter lights up and gives a reading, that shit is still live!!! Abort mission and check circuit breaker again!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Weekend 7/2/10: Extinguish It

2010-07-02T20:35:00.000-07:00

Happy fucking fourth of July weekend! Get your ass out and see some fireworks! Or set off your own! Either way, you will need to have a fire extinguisher nearby! Next up on eduKayt's Essential Tools List is a fire extinguisher. Not only do you need to have one, but you need to know how to use the fucking thing. Keep one in the kitchen and another one in a separate part of your house so in case anything happens, you are covered!

Want me to extinguish Oprah's flames? Vote here now! It's the second to last day to vote!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 7/1/10: Stanley!

2010-07-01T13:52:00.000-07:00

Whip that thing out and let's fucking measure it. That's what you need Stanley for! Stanley makes a great line of tools and they're all in fucking sexy black and yellow. I prefer black and GOLD but that's just me. For most projects we do, you'll need a tape measure so you don't end up with shit all crooked and off center. That's why it's here on eduKayt's Essential Tools List. So get out and get a Stanley tape measure and let's see whose is bigger!

Oprah needs an eduKaytion! Vote now!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 6/30/10: Drill, Baby, Drill

2010-06-30T13:55:00.000-07:00

Next up on eduKayt's Essential Tools List is a cordless fucking drill! I love Ryobi drills because they're easy to use and they get the job done. 12V is probably more than enough for household projects. That will run you close to $50 benjamins, but Ryobi makes other drills for less. Cordless is the way to go so you can run around the house drilling the fuck out of everything!!!

Want me to drill Oprah? Vote here now so Oprah can get eduKayted!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 6/29/10: A 2-Way Screw

2010-06-29T14:03:00.000-07:00

A 2-way screwDRIVER that is, you sluts! Next up on eduKayt's Essential Tools List is a dual screwdriver. Get one with a nice, sturdy handle that feels good in your hand (that's what she said). The beauty of these little fuckers is that you can pull out the top of the screwdriver and go back and forth between a flathead and a phillips! It's fucking brilliant!!!

Want me to show Oprah how to use a 2-way screwdriver? Of course you do! Vote here now!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 6/28/10: Mr. Allen Wrench

2010-06-28T10:17:00.000-07:00

Happy fucking monday! Monday mornings suck... but know what sucks even more? Not having the right tools when you are about to do a project! Let's kick off eduKayt's Essential Tool List with Allen. That's Mr. Allen Wrench to you. There are a shitload of projects we do that require either a big or small allen wrench to tighten something. Get down to the hardware store and buy yourself a set of allens. This Husky brand is less than $6 benjamins at home depot!

Want me to introduce Oprah to Mr. Allen Wrench? Vote here now!!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Weekend 6/25/10: Numbers Game

2010-06-25T12:36:00.000-07:00

Want a quick and fucking easy way to update the outside of your house? Replace your old, dirty, busted house numbers! Get your ass down to the hardware store and grab some SEXY new numbers! I know you still have the same numbers that old lady left on your house when you bought it. Well it's time for a fucking upgrade! All you need is a screwdriver and you can update the look of your house in seconds!

Want me to give Oprah some new numbers?! Vote here now! Only 8 days left!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 6/22/10: Vent This

2010-06-22T15:23:00.000-07:00

Now that it's officially summer, I'm sure you've turned the fucking air conditioning on at least once. Getting the most out of your air conditioning can save you benjamins!

1) If you're gone during the day, turn the AC off or up to 85 degrees. Then you can just turn it back on when you come home, bitch. Fido doesn't need to be chilling on your sofa in 68 degrees.

2) Keep your damn curtains closed. This will keep out the sunlight which creates HEAT. Your air conditioner will have to work less to cool the place down.

3) If there are rooms you're not in or don't use (or the basement), close off the vents in those rooms. Then the AC can blow more cool air into the other rooms, like your fucking living room!

Want me to fix Oprah's air conditioning? Vote here now!!!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 6/21/10: Organize It

2010-06-21T15:13:00.000-07:00

Happy fucking summer! That means that for the next few months, you better be entertaining and having shitloads of parties at your house. What that doesn't mean... is you can't hide from your clutter anymore! It's time to fucking organize, bitches! The last thing you want is a guest looking for the bathroom and opening your closets by mistake. Then all this shit tumbles out and crushes them ala hoarders. Organizing doesn't have to be a daunting task. Start with one room or one closet and take everything out. Then go through it one by one and figure out what you can TRASH (as much as you can), GIVE TO GOODWILL (anything you don't want that's still in good condition), or KEEP. Then slowly put the keep items back in sexy bins and you're organized!

Click here and vote so I get a chance to help organize Oprah!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Weekend 6/18/10: Flappers For Dad!

2010-06-18T13:30:00.000-07:00

Happy Father's Day Weekend! Get dad some flappers! No.... not that kind of flapper, you fucking slut! A flapper for your toilet! If you hear your toilet running after you flush it and this happens every so often throughout the day even when you're not using it, you need a new flapper! The old, shitty one you have now isn't doing its job and it's letting water out of your tank. So the noise you hear is the toilet filling back up with water so it gets to the right level! Lucky for you, flappers are cheap and easy to replace.

1. Turn off the water to your toilet.

2. Take off the tank lid and get your hands in there. Be gentle because everything inside the toilet is submerged in water 24/7 so the parts are delicate.

3. Unhook the chain from the old flapper and take it out.

4. Slide the new flapper down the overflow tube and secure it with the chain.

5. Turn the water back on and flush. You shouldn't hear that fucking noise anymore.

To hear a whole lotta noise, vote now for me to eduKayt Oprah!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 6/17/10: Clean Your Dirty Carpet

2010-06-17T13:54:00.000-07:00

Do you have carpet in your house? Well when was the last time you cleaned it? Exactly. You have dirty, nasty carpet and you better clean it the fuck up! Don't waste your time with carpet cleaning services. It's much more economical to buy a carpet cleaner because you know the machine is NEW and doesn't have other customers' dead bed bugs all inside it. Also, once you buy the carpet cleaning machine (which starts around $75 benjamins or spot cleaning machines for even less) then all you have to buy is the cleaning solution refills. And you can clean your carpet as much as you fucking want!

Don't forget to vote here for me to clean Oprah's carpet...

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 6/16/10: Shady Flowers

2010-06-16T14:16:00.000-07:00

On a budget for dad's day this sunday? Get him some SHADY FUCKING FLOWERS! Some flowers LOVE the shade... so if you don't get a lot of direct sunlight, go pick up some of these:

1. Impatiens - You don't have to be too patient cause they grow fast if you water them every day.
2. Fuchsia - These are crazy bright looking flowers with all kinds of shit hanging from them.
3. Hosta - Mainly green, but some have lines of white on the edge of the leaves.

That should get you started! Give dad some quality time and plant these with him! Guess what quality time is..... FREE, aka NO BENJAMINS REQUIRED!

Then hop on over to the internet with your dad and vote repeatedly for me to eduKayt Oprah!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 6/15/10: Dry? Wet? Vac It Up!

2010-06-15T12:05:00.000-07:00

It's almost Father's Day so that means you're scouring the fucking internet for a good deal for dad. Every dad needs a shop vac! And so the fuck do you! Check out this deal at home depot for less than $20 benjamins! You can't fucking beat it!!! Not even with a VAC!

Let's not forget to vote so Oprah gets eduKayted! Vote for eduKayt on Oprah's network now! And do it multiple times!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 6/14/10: Oprah Needs To Be eduKayted!

2010-06-14T15:55:00.000-07:00

Hey, Oprah, it's time to get eduKayted! Who wants to see eduKayt get her own show on Oprah's network? YOU FUCKING DO!

Click on this link to vote for my video.... and then do it again! Vote over and over and over again!!!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Highlight Reel Episodes 1-8

2010-06-14T11:48:00.001-07:00

Check out the brand new highlight reel for eduKayt!

eduKayt Highlight Reel Episodes 1-8 - watch more funny videos

eduKayt's Tip of the Weekend 6/11/10: Watch This

2010-06-11T15:45:00.000-07:00

More Lesbian Entertainment & Video

In case you didn't get a chance to DVR this, eduKayt was on LOGO this week! Check out this link to see the fucking video of the brand new highlight reel!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 6/9/10: Flow On The Down-Low

2010-06-09T15:02:00.000-07:00

Are you still using one of those ancient shower heads? Well cue beyonce because it's time for a fucking UPGRADE! By replacing your shower head with a low-flow one, you can save up to a couple hundred benjamins each year! For instructions on how to install that shower head, obviously refer to eduKayt Episode #5 and as always...

...consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 6/8/10: Vote On It!

2010-06-08T12:36:00.000-07:00

It's primary fucking election time! That means today you better get your ass out to the polls and cast your vote. If you're thinking that your vote doesn't count, listen up. You're fucking wrong. If everyone thought that, no one would vote. So believe that it counts and get out there to show support for your candidates. Voice your opinion and it will count. Get out there and vote. Now!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 6/7/10: eduKayt On TV!

2010-06-07T13:22:00.000-07:00

The internet isn't big enough for eduKayt. We're gonna be on the fucking tele!!! At 4:00 AM tomorrow, Tuesday 6/8, eduKayt will be introduced on LOGO's show "That Time of the Month". A never seen before trailer will premiere with highlights from Episodes 1-8! Click here to see the show schedule and scroll down to 4:00 AM.

Make sure you set your goddamn DVRs now! Or for all you real ballers, stay up all night and watch it LIVE! If you don't get the LOGO network, call your damn cable provider.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Weekend 6/4/10: Donate To The Gulf

2010-06-04T13:22:00.000-07:00

As you know, the gulf of mexico is being flooded with oil more and more every fucking day. Someone needs to do something about this. That someone is YOU. Just like you helped out haiti after the quake, now you can help out the wildlife of the gulf. You can donate $10 by texting "wildlife" to 20222 or you can donate online with the national wildlife federation. Let's all chip in to save the planet for our fucking kids.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 6/3/10: Pull My Knob

2010-06-03T16:27:00.000-07:00

Do you want to remodel your kitchen for less than $100? Of course you fucking do! One fast, easy, sexy, cheap way to remodel your kitchen is to replace your cabinet hardware! I replaced mine this morning and god it looks damn fine. If you have old or ugly cabinet knobs and pulls, bring the old ones with you to the hardware store. Then pick out some shiny, sexy new ones that have the same hole placement and width (that's what she said). If your cabinets have no existing hardware, then get out your fucking drill! Measure where you want the holes and drill baby drill! Your kitchen will be transformed and you'll never look back.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 6/2/10: Filter Change

2010-06-02T13:37:00.000-07:00

Summer is around the fucking corner and that means you'll have your AC on all day long. If you don't want to breathe in all that shit flying around your house, it's time to change your air filter. Whip out your measuring tape and make sure you get the right size. Then go out to your local hardware store and grab a new one. You can be smart and get a 2 pack of filters cause come the winter, you'll need to change it again.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 6/1/10: Label Your Breaker

2010-06-01T13:56:00.000-07:00

Listen up homeowners: Anytime we do a fucking electrical project together, I remind you that this is not electroKayt. So in order to turn off the power to the room we're working on, you gotta have your goddamn circuit breaker labeled. This will save you from turning off every fucking electrical outlet in the house. Just set aside an hour or so, turn on all the lights, and flip switches one at a time. Have one of your bitches run around your house and see which room or appliance just lost power. Then label it on the breaker!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Weekend 5/28/10: Stars & Stripes

2010-05-28T12:34:00.000-07:00

Countdown to Memorial Day Weekend: ZERO FUCKING DAYS!

You lazy bastards are probably about to get out of work on your fucking paid half day before a holiday weekend. Well head over to home depot and get some flags! Now that your outdoor area is all ready to go and that grill is warming up, you need to show your true colors: red, white, and fucking blue! Now grab some cocktails and let me know when to come over. The party starts when I arrive.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 5/27/10: Sit On This

2010-05-27T15:43:00.000-07:00

Countdown to Memorial Day Weekend: 1 day!

Now that you have a grill and your garden is sans weeds and full of mulch and petunias, you need a place for all your fucking guests to sit! Here is a killer deal at home depot if you like martha stewart's jaun. I'd only recommend her cause she did hard time. Or check out this steal from target. Or even better grab a bunch of these from lowes!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 5/26/10: Mulch This

2010-05-26T13:26:00.000-07:00

Countdown to Memorial Day Weekend: 2 days!!

Now that you got all the weeds out of your garden, let's plant some flowers and throw in some fucking mulch. You should know how to plant flowers by now, so I'm not fucking getting into it again. When you select which mulch is best for your garden, you'll see that there are many different kinds. There is everything from organic to wood chips to bark to straw mulch. I recommend Scotts mulch products that won't lose their color for a year and will help block your weeds!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 5/25/10: Weed It Yourself

2010-05-25T14:02:00.000-07:00

Countdown to Memorial Day Weekend: 3 days!

If you haven't found the right weed killer spray or you are afraid about hurting mother nature or you don't feel like spending money on that shit, weed the garden yourself! Slap on some sexy gardening gloves and get in there. If the soil is a little moist, it makes it a lot easier to get in there... cue "that's what she said". Make sure you go for the base of the weed. Pull it out slowly so you get all of it right down to the root. If you only pull out the top of the weed, it will be back in days. If you can't grab it all out, take a shovel and dig that bitch out.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 5/24/10: It's Electric

2010-05-24T13:28:00.000-07:00

Countdown to Memorial Day Weekend: 4 days!

We are counting down to memorial day weekend when we can all kick back and relax with some burgers and a fucking keg! Make sure your grill is in good shape since it will be in overdrive this weekend. What grill, you ask? This new fucking electric grill! If you don't have a nice farm for a back yard, you can get an electric grill that works just as well as a real one! It's on sale here at home depot. Don't let your landlord or building manager dictate what you can put on your balcony! Tell them to fuck off and plug this bitch in!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Project of the Weekend 5/21/10: Clean That Pussy

2010-05-21T14:45:00.000-07:00

Has it been a while since you've groomed your cat or dog? Save some benjamins and do it your-fucking-self! Believe it or not, dogs aren't the only ones who like baths. Cats do too. Some pussies love to be wet.

1) Fill up a bathtub with warm water. Use enough water so it is just below their belly.

2) Use some pet shampoo and lather them up. Really get in there. It will be like a fucking massage and they'll love you forever. For cats, you can buy an anti-hairball shampoo. It's fucking amazing.

3) Take an empty pitcher and rinse them off with clean water.

4) Wrap them in a towel, sing them a song, and let them the fuck out of the bathroom.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 5/20/10: Not Just For The Fridge

2010-05-20T13:57:00.000-07:00

Got a rancid odor you need to take care of? Did the baby spit up on your couch? Did the cat puke on the rug? Or did someone ralph in your CAR?! Well say good-fucking-bye to the smell with a little baking soda! After you clean up the mess, do a light sprinkling of baking soda on the area. It will neutralize the odor and fucking eliminate it! Leave it overnight and then brush it off or vacuum it up. If the problem is in an enclosed area (your CAR), you can also put an uncovered bowl of 1 cup of white vinegar in there. The vinegar will absorb the odor, too, whores.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 5/19/10: Strap It On

2010-05-19T14:08:00.000-07:00

Planning some out of the country traveling? Well obviously you know not to leave your house without your fucking passport. The key is keeping it with you at all times while you're away. Make sure you buy one of these sexy leather shoulder strap jaunces so you know where your fucking ID is at all times. The last thing you want is to be ready to walk into the airport and you don't have your goddamn passport. It happened to lindsay lohan; it can happen to you.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 5/17/10: Who Verse? U-Verse

2010-05-17T13:20:00.000-07:00

Ok sluts, I hate endorsing products because those fuckers don't give me a dime to do so. However, this is something you all need to know. At&t has their own cable tv called u-verse and I've had it for over 4 months now. You can record up to 4 shows at once, watch them from multiple dvrs in your house, and the menu screens are sexy. What more do you need? Oh, you need some fucking CASH BACK. Well those pricks over at At&t have deals all the fucking time. Like right now if you sign up for tv, internet, and landline, you get $350 cash back. When I signed up it was $400 cash back and it's all in the form of a visa gift card so it's like REAL FUCKING MONEY. And you only need to keep all 3 services for 30 days! If you're in no rush to switch providers, wait stealthily at your laptop for the deal to go up even higher and then BAM you saved a shit load of benjamins.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Project of the Weekend 5/14/10: Prime It Up

2010-05-14T14:10:00.000-07:00

We're gonna prime your weekend away! How many fucking little paint spots or smudges do you have on your baseboards and trim? Too fucking many, trust me. It's time to do a little touching up, bitches.

1) Run down to your local hardware store and grab a small paint brush (1" tops), a small container of paint primer, some blue paint tape, and a paint stirrer.

2) Pull out those old sheets you threw in the closet from the last time you painted.

3) Spread those sheets on the floor so you don't fuck up your carpet or hardwood.

4) Use the tape to cover the parts of the wall you don't want to prime. And be fucking exact cause otherwise you will see uneven lines of paint and you'll be all pissed off.

5) Open up the can of primer and stir that bitch for about a minute.

6) Dip your paint brush in about halfway and start covering up those spots.

If the last time you primed your door frame was 17 years ago, then this primer will look really fucking white. So you will have to prime the whole frame, not just do touch-ups. Don't be a pussy... it will be ok.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 5/13/10: Microchip It

2010-05-13T13:57:00.000-07:00

Do you have a dog or a cat? Scared they might run away? Well fucking microchip them! This is a procedure where a vet implants a microchip into your pet with a quick shot! And it's MICRO so they won't even feel it's there! Then if they run away and are found, another vet can scan for the chip and call you to go pick them up. It couldn't be fucking easier. If Joni from eduKayt Episode #8 had done this, whiskers' fate might have turned out differently...

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 5/12/10: Bag It Up

2010-05-12T13:03:00.000-07:00

Heading to the grocery store? Well don't forget your fucking recycling TOTES! Fuck those plastic or brown paper bags for your groceries. These bags are easier on your hands, they hold more shit, they're sexier.... oh and they're good for your mother... NATURE. Some grocery stores are starting to charge for plastic bags so tell them to fuck off and bring in your own totes. Plastic is for pussies.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 5/11/10: Turn The Lights On

2010-05-11T13:13:00.001-07:00

Before you start listening to your favorite Beyonce song Sweet Dreams aka TURN THE LIGHTS ON (yelled frantically) you better stop and listen! Don't turn the fucking lights on just yet!

While watching the eduKayt marathon in the dark on your projector, I know you've been going in and out of the kitchen grabbing donuts, cookies, and vodka bottles. And my guess is that you never washed your hands before turning the fucking lights on!!!! BAM, caughtcha bitch. Do you know how many fucking germs are on your light switch plate?!

Grab one of those sexy clorox wipes and go around your house wiping the shit off of those damn light switch plates. You and your doctor will thank me.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 5/10/10: Episode #8

2010-05-10T15:45:00.000-07:00

The countdown is fucking over! eduKayt Episode #8 is HERE!

Click here to watch it on YouTube or click here to watch it on Funny or Die!

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 5/9/10: Word To Your Motha

2010-05-09T15:25:00.000-07:00

Happy fucking mother's day! The eduKayt MARATHON lights up with Episode #7 starring the Fantasy Football Girl! Kick back and relax with your motha and watch it now! Click here to see it on YouTube or click here to see it on FUNNY OR DIE!

Countdown to Episode #8: T minus 1 fucking day!!!!

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 5/8/10: Furnace This

2010-05-08T12:28:00.000-07:00

The eduKayt MARATHON heats up with Episode #6! eduKayt goes out to the country to teach you sluts about outdoor furnaces! Click here to watch it on YouTube or click here to watch it on FUNNY OR DIE!

Countdown to eduKayt Episode #8: T minus 2 fucking days!

eduKayt's Tip of the Afternoon 5/7/10: Sassy Brazilian

2010-05-07T15:21:00.000-07:00

The countdown to eduKayt Episode #8 RAINS ON with sexy Episode #5! eduKayt in a tiny black dress, her golden cheetah, and a sassy Brazilian... what more could you fucking need on this Friday afternoon! Click here to watch it on YouTube or click here to watch it on FUNNY OR DIE!

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 5/7/10: Highlight This

2010-05-07T12:26:00.000-07:00

Listen up, slacker. Did you miss the MARATHON of episodes 1-4? Well check out this fucking highlight reel! Click here to see it on YouTube or click here to see it on FUNNY OR DIE!

Countdown to Episode #8: 3 fucking days!!

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 5/6/10: Start Eating Some Cows

2010-05-06T13:43:00.000-07:00

"You better start eating some cows, cause you're missing things up here." Another famous eduKayt line!

Here's Episode #4 starring a sexy vegan homeowner! Click here to see it on YouTube or click here to see it on FUNNY OR DIE and vote FUNNY, whores!

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 5/5/10: Cinco De eduKayt

2010-05-05T11:49:00.000-07:00

The eduKayt MARATHON rages on with this 5 fucking STAR episode where eduKayt visits a Canadian Homeowner! Click here to watch it on YouTube or click here to watch it on FUNNY OR DIE, and you better vote FUNNY, bitches!

Countdown to eduKayt Episode #8: T minus 5 Days!

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 5/4/10: It's All About The Benjamins

2010-05-04T12:46:00.000-07:00

The eduKayt MARATHON continues! The berating never fucking ends when I go back to Julia's to collect my benjamins. Click here for the FUNNY OR DIE link or click here for the YOUTUBE link!

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 5/3/10: Back To The Basics

2010-05-03T12:13:00.000-07:00

Let's get back to the basics with eduKayt Episode #1! This week we're having a fucking eduKayt MARATHON to kick off the premiere of eduKayt Episode #8! Click here to see it on YouTube or click here to see it on Funny Or Die, bitches!

eduKayt's Project of the Weekend 4/30/10: Arbor This

2010-04-30T15:12:00.000-07:00

Happy Fucking Arbor Day! The project this weekend is to go buy an arbor tree and plant it!

You will need a tree, soil, shovel, water, and some of those sexy gardening gloves. These trees aren't expensive so get your ass down to your local nursery and pick up a tree. Follow the instructions that come with the tree. It's so fucking easy though. Dig a hole, slap in the tree, fill it in with soil, and water it.

You can help save your mother NATURE and make your front yard look a hell of a lot better.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 4/29/10: Resolve This

2010-04-29T10:45:00.000-07:00

Got a shit load of stains on your carpets? Don't go buying new carpet... RESOLVE IT! This is the only shit I trust. High. Traffic. Foam. It's the best fucking carpet stain remover out there. Don't waste your time or benjamins on other products. Resolve foam is fucking fabulous and you just cover the stain with it, wait 15 minutes, and vacuum that nasty shit up.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 4/28/10: Gas It Up

2010-04-28T14:35:00.000-07:00

Next time you put gas in your car, don't be cheap about it. I know that's something I never fucking say, but I mean it this time. No matter what kind of car you have, you should fill her up with PREMIUM grade 91 about once a month depending on how often you drive. The more expensive gas burns hotter and this actually cleans out deposits left on your engine. So in the long run, I'm saving you a fucking trip to the mechanic.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 4/27/10: Insure It

2010-04-27T10:49:00.000-07:00

Planning a big trip? Well it's time to think about some fucking travel insurance. Did you plan a trip to Europe a few weeks ago? And lose all your money because Iceland decided to explode? You wouldn't have lost that cash if you had travel insurance! If you're going away for the weekend, don't waste your benjamins on this jaunce. But if you're planning a huge trip costing thousands of benjamins or a honeymoon or some shit, you should insure it. It could be about 4-10% of the trip cost, but it's worth it. Don't be left in the dust. Or in the volcano.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 4/26/10: Po Po Shut Us Down

2010-04-26T12:05:00.000-07:00

Do you know where your house or building's gas shut off valve is? Didn't fucking think so! If there is an earthquake, besides getting your ass on the ground and under something and protecting your brains and all, the next thing you need to do is find the gas shut off valve. When buildings shift in a quake, a lot of times the gas line moves and you can have a gas leak on your hands. All you need is a wrench and you can turn the valve to OFF. If you have your own house, you should know where this is. And if you're in an apartment or condo building, you should ask your management company. Turning off the gas can prevent explosions. Your building might not collapse, but if there is a leak, it can still fucking blow up!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 4/22/10: Happy Fucking Earth Day!

2010-04-22T11:50:00.000-07:00

Happy Fucking Earth Day, sluts! Let's all give it up to you eduKaytees who have changed out your energy-sucking light bulbs for the energy efficient ones! You are making a fucking difference! And let's give mad props to Greensburg, Kansas. In 2007, an F5 tornado wiped out most of the town. For those of you who aren't familiar with TWISTER, that is one huge fucking swirl of wind. When they were ready to rebuild, they decided to do it GREEN. Most of the town is now GREEN and energy efficient. We could all learn something from Greensburg and check out their blog at http://www.greensburggreentown.org/. Let them inspire you to add solar panels to your roof and start buying eco-friendly shit.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 4/21/10: Light It Up

2010-04-21T11:52:00.000-07:00

The heavens opened up and eduKayt said, "Let there be light, bitches!" Happy fucking earth week. Let's continue the trend by installing some solar outdoor lights! Fuck light bulbs and electricity. Let's go back to the basics with the amish and grab some solar stake lights. Mother nature uses us enough, so let's return the favor and use the shit out of the sun. Solar outdoor lights are available at your local hardware store and they are an energy efficient way to light up your path or walkway along your fucking white picket fence.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 4/20/10: Inhale This

2010-04-20T12:16:00.000-07:00

In honor of earth week, let's go green from our plant soil to our fucking cleaning products. You have no fucking clue how many toxins are in your household cleaners and detergents. I'm here to clue you in. So put down that green joint for one second and listen up. There are a shitload of different lines of products that specialize in organic and eco-friendly cleaning products. Seventh generation is my personal favorite. This shit is a little more expensive, so normally I would say fuck it. But shelling out a few extra green benjamins so you don't spread toxins all over your house is a damn good thing.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 4/19/10: Soil This

2010-04-19T10:27:00.000-07:00

Apparently it's fucking Earth Day this week. So let's talk all about mother nature and how we can jerk her off a little while making this planet a better fucking place. Let's start with some planting! Not all soil is created equal. Miracle Gro (my personal favorite) now makes organic soil. This is better for the environment and better for you and all your future generations and shit. So get your ass down to home depot and grab some Miracle Gro Organic Soil because this week in the LA area, it's nearly $2 off!! That's good for mother nature and your benjamins!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 4/15/10: Pay Uncle Sam

2010-04-15T11:17:00.000-07:00

Today is the big day: TAX DAY. Make sure you get all your paperwork together and you get your fucking ass down to h&r block or the nearest accountant or online to download turbo tax, so you get your taxes mailed in time! The deadline is today so everything needs to be postmarked by TODAY. And send in your paperwork via CERTIFIED MAIL. I don't trust uncle sam to really be sure he received it and you shouldn't either.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 4/14/10: Fasten That Shit

2010-04-14T15:51:00.000-07:00

If you're sick of my earthquake posts, go fuck yourself cause this shit is serious. In 2010 already we have had 70 quakes in SoCal compared to 30 in 2009 and 29 in 2008. What the fuck is going on?

Well it's time to get prepared and stop thinking the big one isn't on its way. Go down to your local hardware store and grab some furniture fasteners. I know you have tons of bookshelves or armoires or other tall, heavy shit that is up against the wall. Well when the ground starts shaking, that piece could come tumbling down and kick your ass in the process. All you do is line up the strap behind the furniture and secure the one end to the furniture and the other end to the wall. There are also smaller fasteners for heavy items like pottery or knick knacks.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Project of the Weekend 4/9/10: Antiques

2010-04-09T13:02:00.001-07:00

This weekend the weather will be gorgeous, so get your ass outside and do some fucking shopping! Why go to IKEA or target for your furniture when you can buy a sexy ANTIQUE?! Google where your local antique stores are and check them out.

"But eduKayt, antiques are so expensive," you say.
"Fuck off, no they're not!" I exclaim.

Let's remember we're in a recession. So if you find a piece that you really like, TALK THEM DOWN. Offer less, flash a smile (or whatever else you got) and you might get a discount. And after all that flashing, if you still can't afford antiques, check out the next best thing: stores that sell furniture to LOOK like antiques. This is some quality shit that will look fabulous for even less benjamins.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 4/8/10: Go Get Pergo

2010-04-08T15:55:00.000-07:00

Looking for a sexy hardwood floor that won't burn holes in your benjamins? Look no further than PERGO! It is now on sale at Lowe's until 4/19! 15% off! If you have been putting off the hardwood floor job, get it done now and save money doing it! Pergo is so fucking easy. The pieces of "wood" snap together and you can make your own floor in minutes. You can even lay it over existing tile or hardwood!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 4/7/10: Refurbish Your Wallet

2010-04-07T12:30:00.000-07:00

In the market for a pricey new laptop or ipod or stereo system? Get a fucking refurbished one! Check the manufacturer's website and browse around for the SALE section. Sometimes those fuckers tuck that section away but I know you can find it. Refurbished doesn't mean it's from fucking craigslist, it just means it was returned. And then the company takes it through RIGOROUS tests and makes sure it is 100% fabulous before reselling it at a DISCOUNTED PRICE! You can save at least a couple hundred benjamins by selecting a refurbished model instead of a brand spankin new one.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 4/6/10: Clean Your Desk

2010-04-06T11:00:00.000-07:00

When was the last time you cleaned the desk in your office? Exactly. Do you know how many fucking germs are breeding on your office phone, desk, mouse, and keyboard? Millions. Get your ass to the supply room and grab some disinfectant and start spraying the shit out of everything. Haven't been able to fight that spring cold? That's because you keep touching the germs EVERY SINGLE DAY. And it's fucking nasty.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 4/5/10: Who's The Ham?

2010-04-05T15:21:00.000-07:00

What are you going to do with all that leftover Easter ham? Fucking eat it! Listen sluts, we're still in a recession... I don't care what anyone says. When you make a meal, you better eat all of it. This is like "use every part of the buffalo" native american times.

If you have leftover ham, make ham sandwiches! Cut a slice and spread some mustard on your choice of bread and you're good to fucking go! And while you're at it, make some meals that will last you the whole week! Stop ordering pizza and chinese food cause that shit will kill you. Make some whole grain pasta and lean ground meat with sauce and keep it refrigerated. Make a few boxes of pasta and this will be your dinner all week! Pasta dishes work well as leftovers cause they heat up nicely. Sprinkle some parmesan and presto pesto you're ready to eat!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Project of the Weekend 4/2/10: Pots & Plants

2010-04-02T14:52:00.000-07:00

Happy fucking easter! This weekend we will be planting some flowers in your sexy outdoor space! Whether you have a huge yard or just a balcony, you can add some flowers to jazz it up.

1) Before you go shopping for plants, know how much sunlight your outdoor area gets. For example, if you get no direct sunlight, don't go buying roses! Impatiens are great for shady spaces.

2) Get down to your local store and buy some pots, soil, and flowers.

3) For HUGE flowers, throw in some miracle grow. As I always say, go big or go home.

4) For all you delicate flowers, grab some gardening gloves so you don't fuck up your manicure.

5) Pick up a garden spade and start digging.

6) Follow the directions for your particular flower and make sure you dig enough space.

7) Put the plant in and fill the hole with the leftover soil.

8) Water once a day or according to directions. Some flowers need less, some more.

Throw in some easter lilies and consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 4/1/10: Raid The Fool

2010-04-01T12:46:00.000-07:00

Happy fucking April Fool's Day! In honor of today, don't let bugs have the last laugh. For those random UNinvited house guests (no, not alanis morissette), make sure you have a can of RAID on hand. My recommendation is RAID Ant & Roach spray. This shit kills spiders too! They also make flea, fly, mosquito, wasp and hornet sprays! Raid doesn't fuck around. Don't waste your money on those other brands.

And don't go all "I don't want to kill bugs...I catch them and put them outside" on me cause that's bullshit.

When the black widows attack, fight back.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 3/31/10: Show Me Your Energy

2010-03-31T12:14:00.000-07:00

Do you still have those energy-sucking shitty light bulbs in your house? Well get your ass home and install all new energy-SAVING ones now! If every fucking house in the US replaced only one of their light bulbs with an energy fluorescent one, it would be the equivalent of taking 7.5 million cars off the road. WHAT?!!

But screw the environment and let's talk about your benjamins. For the life of the light bulb you can save $30 in energy costs. And that is only for ONE light bulb AND it will last 10x longer!!! So go home and replace all your bulbs tonight.

How many broads does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One. Me.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 3/30/10: 30 Days

2010-03-30T13:08:00.000-07:00

Let the countdown begin! You only have 30 days left to buy a house in order to get the fucking awesome tax credit! If you've been looking and have found "the one" or even "the closest one" then fucking buy it! If you want to get loads of cash for free from uncle sam, don't miss out on this!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 3/29/10: Screw Ralph

2010-03-29T16:36:00.000-07:00

I love Ralph Lauren. I love his glasses, clothes, comforters... and I used to love his paint. I loved it until I went into Home Depot last friday night and they fucking discontinued his line! What the fuck?! Who does that????? AND to top it all off, they replaced it with Martha Fucking Stewart! If she was still in jail it might be cool, but that shit's over with!

I've now moved on to Benjamin Moore. Benny makes some amazing paint and my favorite thing is you can buy a tiny sample container so you can test your wall and see which color you like best. Samples are only $3.99 and they're totally worth it.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Project of the Weekend 3/26/10: Pretty In Paint

2010-03-26T12:30:00.000-07:00

This weekend, we're going to PAINT! That's fucking right! Tackle that spare bedroom you've been wanting to paint or touch up your trim! Here are some things you'll need:

1) Old sheets - Lay these on the floor to protect your carpet or hardwood floors. Sheets will soak up the paint unlike plastic.

2) Paint tape - Grab that blue tape at your local hardware store and line the edges of the room with it. Or you can buy an edger but let's stick with the old fucking fashioned way.

3) Spackle - Fill in any holes with some putty that you can find at the hardware store. Get a small tube of it and fill those puppies in and wait a few hours for it to dry.

4) Primer - Depending on the existing color of your walls, make sure you prime them before applying the new color.

5) Rollers - Get long rollers and extensions for them if you're painting the ceiling.

6) Paintbrush - Have at least one medium sized paint brush for touch ups and small crevices.

Now get to work and let me see some paint!

This weekend I'm painting my hallway a sexy deep fucking red color from Ralph Lauren. He's my pick for the best quality paint in fabulous colors.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 3/25/10: Beat The Flood

2010-03-25T13:23:00.000-07:00

So you have insurance for your house right? It will protect you against fires right? It will protect you against floods right? WRONG! Most homeowner insurance policies do NOT protect against floods! To all my sexy eduKaytees in the CA burn areas, I know you have learned this lesson the hard way!

The fact is this: no matter where you live, you are at risk for floods. Mother Nature is one mean fucking bitch and she doesn't hold anything back anymore. With global warming and level 5 hurricanes named after me, you never know what to expect. So be fucking prepared.

Call your insurance agent about flood insurance and earthquake insurance if you haven't already done so. Ask about multi-line discounts like at Statefarm the more insurance policies you have with them, the more discounts you get! They're my personal favorite.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 3/24/10: Rubbermaid That Shit

2010-03-24T15:07:00.000-07:00

Have a garage? Have a garage filled with shit? Have a garage filled with shit but you wish you could park your car in it? Well now you fucking can! Let's organize your garage! Go out and buy some rubbermaid containers. They have these at hardware stores or target or walmart. Grab the heavy plastic ones that have lids and get a bunch of them. You have more shit than you realize, trust me.

Don't forget to utilize your ceiling space! Get some sturdy shelves and hang them up! Put your bins on there and you'll be in good fucking shape! Now pull your car in, close the door, and toast to your new garage!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 3/23/10: Fire Escape Ladder

2010-03-23T13:38:00.000-07:00

Do you have a plan if your house catches on fire? Of course you don't, cause "it won't happen to you"! Well it FUCKING MIGHT! All multi-level homes should have a fire escape ladder. And if you have a single story home, you better have a map of the best ways to get the fuck out quick.

Especially if you have small children, make sure they know what the fuck is going on and how to use the fire escape ladder. And when you go to buy a ladder, only buy the ones that are "tangle free". Last thing you want is that bitch getting all tangled up while your room is on fire!

Have a plan, have a ladder, get the fuck out. Do it for Smokey. Do it for you.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 3/22/10: Light It Up

2010-03-22T12:55:00.000-07:00

Now that your outdoor area is looking sexier than hell, let's install some fucking lights so you can show it off! You can grab some motion detector lights or some simple flood lights for under $30! I'd recommend the motion detecting lights so if someone comes looking for your benjamins, you can SPOT THEM and call the fucking cops. There's a mark down on Heath Zenith motion detecting lights right now at home depot! And don't forget to grab some solar powered lights for your fucking walkway!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Project of the Weekend 3/19/10: Reclaim Your Space!

2010-03-19T12:59:00.000-07:00

Countdown to SPRING: 1 DAY!!!

This weekend reclaim your outdoor area! It's fucking yours, isn't it?! Use this time to get your shit in order. There's nothing better than relaxing in a yard or garden or on a balcony knowing you made it fabulous.

1) Take care of your lawn mower and MOW.

2) Kill the weeds, John Goodman style.

3) Grab some sexy plants and start planting.

4) Go pick up some new patio furniture and a grill. Throw in some tiki torches or an outdoor string of lights while you're at it.

5) Fire up the grill, sip a cocktail, and fucking relax! SPRING IS HERE!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 3/18/10: Take A Seat

2010-03-18T13:39:00.000-07:00

Countdown to SPRING: 2 DAYS!

Spring will be here on Saturday and once you have your outdoor space looking sexy, where are you gonna fucking sit?! In some new patio furniture, that's where! Get your ass down to home depot, lowes, or your local hardware store and clinch a killer deal on some outdoor furniture! Now is the time to BUY! Slap those benjamins down on the counter and don't look back!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 3/17/10: Weed It Out

2010-03-17T14:43:00.000-07:00

Countdown to SPRING: 3 DAYS!

Now that you've fixed your lawnmower and your lawn is looking sexy, don't forget to take care of the fucking weeds! Those bastards will creep up in the cracks of your driveway, in your flower beds, in the middle of your lawn---just about everywhere except in that rolled up joint you've been thinking of!

Get down to the corner store and grab some weed killer spray. Use caution when spraying this near flowers cause you don't want them to start choking!

Consider yourself weed-free and eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 3/16/10: Show Me Your Grill

2010-03-16T10:53:00.000-07:00

Countdown to SPRING: 4 DAYS!

Remember when you used to sit outside with friends and have some juicy burgers and hot dogs from the grill? Well snap the fuck out of it and LET'S DO IT! Now is the time to get ready for spring by buying a sexy grill! All the stores are selling these fuckers on discount because they want your benjamins! So if you have a few to give away, do it TODAY! Then let me know when your party is cause I'm crashing that fucker.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 3/15/10: Seed, Soil, and SAVOR!

2010-03-15T15:26:00.000-07:00

Countdown to SPRING: 5 DAYS!

Sick and fucking tired of paying those high prices at the grocery store? Trying to eat healthy on a fucking homeless person's budget? Well, start growing your own fruits and veggies! You don't need a huge backyard to have a sexy garden. As long as you get sun and are responsible enough to water your plants, you can fucking do this! Mosey on down to your local lowe's or home depot and grab some pots, soil, and seeds! Try tomatoes, strawberries, or your own fucking HERBS! Make sure you read the labels carefully to provide the plant with enough light and water. Add in some miracle grow for LARGER THAN LIFE fruits and veggies!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Weekend 3/12/10: Better Than Your Dad

2010-03-12T13:32:00.000-08:00

Disregard the "Dad" in the birthday cake photo because let's face it: I'm better than your dad. And besides, it's MY fucking birthday! Tomorrow is the big day so I'll be celebrating all weekend. Make sure you do the same and raise your glass to the best eduKaytor you know!

Drink responsibly and consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 3/10/10: H2-Oh shit!

2010-03-10T12:44:00.000-08:00

Are you still drinking water from the fucking kitchen sink? Well, knock it off! There are some places where the public drinking water is ok (NYC) but LA is not one of them. And if you have your own well water, you better get that shit tested before you start sipping. You can get a water testing kit anywhere from Target to Home Depot and I suggest you do. In the meantime, go out and get yourself a sexy brita or pur water filter. You'll sleep a lot better at night knowing that glass of water on your nightstand isn't filled with chemicals and bacteria.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 3/9/10: Get That Mower Ready!

2010-03-09T16:39:00.000-08:00

Spring is right around the corner... I know you're ready for it, but is your fucking lawn mower ready?! Now is the perfect time to get your lawn mower serviced or at least check it out for yourself. Are the belts ok? Are the blades functioning properly? Do you need extra fuel? Also make sure your weed whacker and other spring tools are fucking ready to go! Cause when spring comes you have to be ready to retire that snow blower and grab your riding mower!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 3/8/10: Happy IWD!

2010-03-08T13:14:00.000-08:00

Happy International Women's Day, you fucking whores! Back in 1911 this glorious day was started and reserved for all of us hard working, sexy chicks. Please take full advantage of this day and tackle a home improvement project!

Click over to http://www.funnyordie.com/edukayt and watch, learn, and do it your-fucking-self!!! Install a doorknob, smoke detector, thermostat, shower head or whatever else you want! Don't wait for some guy to come over and help you!

You can do it... I can help.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Project of the Weekend 3/5/10: Craigslist It!

2010-03-05T12:10:00.000-08:00

Welcome to eduKayt's Project of the Weekend! This weekend, get your ass online and find a sexy, preferably antique, battered and therefore CHEAP piece of furniture! Skip the crowd at IKEA and buy something super cheap that you can make YOURS. Whether it's a table, dresser, or headboard, here's what you can do to make it SEXY!

1) Bring it home and clean it up. Make sure all the fucking dust mites and shit is off it.

2) Decide what your vision is for the piece. Mainly decide about stain (if it's wood) or paint.

3) Run down to your hardware store and grab some sand paper and wood stain/paint.

4) Prepare your work area with shit loads of newspaper and do this outside. If you can't work outside, make sure you're in a well ventilated area or you'll start hacking and shit.

5) Sand out the rough spots and apply necessary coats of stain/paint to the furniture.

6) Open up a brewski and watch it dry!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 3/4/10: Dip It!

2010-03-04T12:10:00.000-08:00

When is the last time you cleaned your fucking coffee maker? EXACTLY. Run down to the grocery store and grab some "dip it". This shit is so easy to use and it will leave your coffee maker sparkling clean! You should use this once a month or before you know it, you'll be drinking coffee and calcium and lime build up. And that is fucking gross. Also if you have a fancy coffee maker that comes with a filter, make sure you change that every 60 days for freshness.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 3/3/10: The Buddy System

2010-03-03T13:11:00.000-08:00

Hey ladies (and boys), planning on going for a jog later? Well listen up to these jogging tips:

1) I don't care if you live in the fucking middle of nowhere or if you live in Beverly Hills. Always go out with a BUDDY. Your mom told you this when you were little, and I'm telling you this now. Women joggers in particular are easy prey for fucking crazy dicks out there.

2) Never go out sans your cell phone.

3) Don't go running late at night or in areas where you don't see a lot of people.

4) Slap on some running pants with pockets and carry some MACE with you at all times.

5) Always be aware of your surroundings and if your goddamn instincts say "get the fuck out of here" then GO.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 3/2/10: AAA

2010-03-02T14:25:00.000-08:00

You never know when you might have a flat tire or run out of gas, but if you're a AAA member, you won't fucking care when it happens! You can pay a low (and I mean apple bottom jeans low) membership fee for a whole year's worth of help! Let AAA be your personal bitch! If you run out of gas, need a tow, need a battery jump... you name it, AAA will be there. They not only help you (the bad ass driver), but they will also come to the rescue even if you're just the passenger!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Weekend 2/26/10: TigerText?!

2010-02-26T11:25:00.000-08:00

For all you cheating tigers out there, this iPhone app can save your fucking cheating hide! Install TigerText on your iPhone and once you send a text message to your mistress, it will DISAPPEAR after the time period you set! It won't stay in your mistress' cell or in yours! It will disappear forever and you will get away with all kinds of shit. I don't condone cheating... but if you're gonna cheat, fucking do it right.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 2/25/10: Show Me the Money, Uncle Sam!

2010-02-25T16:22:00.000-08:00

For all you sluts who haven't filed their taxes yet, keep these fucking tax credits in mind! You could get MAD BENJAMINS back from Uncle Sam!

1) Buy a house by April 30, 2010 and you can get a huge refund! $8Gs for first time home buyers and $6,500Gs for non-first timers who have lived at their current residence for 5+ years! If you already filed your 2009 taxes, file a fucking amended return to collect your cash!

2) If you're a student and you make $80Gs or less then you can file a credit for up to $2500!!!! Make Uncle Sam pay for all those classes you fucking fall asleep in!

3) If you've made energy-efficient upgrades to your home, you can claim up to 30% of those fucking upgrades!!!

4) If you bought a NEW car from February 17, 2009 until December 31, 2009, you can claim the taxes you paid on that fucking car! So if you traded in your CLUNKER for a new car, claim the taxes you paid on that new beast!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 2/24/10: Always Be Prepared!

2010-02-24T18:07:00.000-08:00

If you are one of the lucky ones picked to report for jury duty, come fucking prepared! Most likely you will sit in a room from 8AM - 5 PM! The court does not provide food or beverages so BRING YOUR OWN! And they don't provide entertainment! Unless you can get the hot girl sitting next to you to start giving free lap dances, you better bring something to do. Books, magazines, crayons, darts, or anything that will keep you occupied bring it. And bring some bottled water and snacks so you don't have to pay for them at the vending machine.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 2/23/10: Go Take a Nap!

2010-02-23T11:45:00.000-08:00

A new study came out that says if you take an afternoon nap, your brain is better prepared to absorb information. So go take a fucking nap! You can power nap it at 20 minutes or go for a full nap for 90 minutes. If you're at the office, just print out this entry and tape it to your door or your fucking forehead and take a nap at your desk. Those gel-filled keyboard and mouse pads make great pillows!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 2/22/10: 45 Days!

2010-02-22T16:14:00.000-08:00

Thanks to the brand spanking new credit card laws, you have to receive 45 days notice before those fuckers can change your interest rates! This is a day to celebrate and go buy tons of shit! Whatever your current interest rate is, it can't change whenever the credit card companies feel like it! They have to give you 45 days notice... otherwise they're headed to the slammer! If your interest rate is something insane like 30%, try calling the credit card companies and talking them down. If you always pay on time, etc these things can work in your favor! And if some bitch answers the phone and starts laughing at the thought of lowering your rate, ask to speak to someone else! Most of the time THIS WORKS but no one does it! And you can hang up with a lower interest rate!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Weekend 2/19/10: Bug Off!

2010-02-19T10:29:00.000-08:00

Happy fucking Friday! While you're out tonight at the bar getting drunk and telling all of your sexy co-worker stories from the week, know that you're not the only one celebrating the weekend. In your carpet, in your corners, outside your front door, and even in your BED are BUGS! These little fuckers are everywhere and no matter what you do, you will always get bugs inside your house. Well at least you can minimize their entry and put a kibosh on their little parties! Get yourself down to your local hardware store or Home Depot and grab some bug spray... exterminator style. I do this once every six months in order to lock down my fortress. Get a one gallon container with an attached spray nozzle and walk around your house like John Goodman!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 2/18/10: Give It Up!

2010-02-18T13:45:00.000-08:00

It's that time of year again.... LENT! Here we are in day 2 of lent and are you still trying to figure out what to give up? Well let me give you some fucking tips:

1) Give up that morning cup of coffee! Screw the latte and you could save $3 a day for 46 days of lent for a total of $138!!!!! That's a whole lotta jesus money right there!

2) Bring your fucking lunch to work! If you spend $10 on lunch Monday through Friday, you could save $330!!!! There's nothing wrong with brown bag lunches filled with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches or your favorite ice cold 40!

3) Give up paying for parking! You don't need fucking valet! Park on the street and walk your ass to wherever you need to go! If you spend $15 a week on parking, you can save $97.50!!!!

4) Give up your first born! You'll save a shit load of money on college tuition, not to mention food!!!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 2/17/10: Check That Statement!

2010-02-17T15:36:00.000-08:00

Listen up, bitches. Starting next week (or even sooner), credit card companies will start releasing different statements. And they'll make you want to fucking cry! But it will be a good kind of cry like when you're watching lions eat gazelles and shit. New laws were passed forcing credit card companies to do the following:

1) Write everything in a normal FONT size! What will you do with all those fucking magnifying glasses?!

2) Interest charges should be highlighted, not BURIED!

3) Now near the "minimum payment" amount, you will also see the length of time it will take you to pay off your fucking card if you only pay the minimum! We all know ALWAYS PAY MORE THAN THE MINIMUM! Or those fuckers will own you for life! Well now it will say exactly how many months it will take to pay off your card at certain rates! THAT'S THE CRYING PART!

Let these things motivate the fuck out of you and start paying that shit off.

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 2/16/10: FAT Tuesday!

2010-02-16T10:02:00.000-08:00

Happy fucking Mardi Gras, bitches! Today is the day to eat a shitload of food, drink tons of alcohol, and FLASH everyone you know! How are you gonna do this if you're at work?! You're gonna call out sick, that's how! Follow these easy steps:

1) Call your boss and make sure you are coughing throughout 75% of the conversation.

2) Say you have a "stomach flu" or better yet, food poisoning from that crazy new sushi place you tried last night!

3) If you're already at work, go to the bathroom NOW and when you come back say you just got sick and you better get home NOW or it might happen again! A 24 hour bug solves everything!

Go get your drink on! You better have a collection of beads around your neck by the end of the day!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Weekend 2/12/10: Happy V-Day!

2010-02-12T10:41:00.000-08:00

Happy fucking Valentine's Day, whores! The big V-Day is here on Sunday and what are you going to do?! Here are some life-saving tips to help you survive the weekend:

1) Go to the fucking dollar store! You wouldn't believe the amazing shit they have in there that doesn't look like it costs a dollar, BUT IT DOES! You can get candy, cards, stuffed animals, and probably even some personal lubricants for only ONE DOLLAR!

2) Take your sweetheart out to dinner... AT MCDONALDS! They have a fucking dollar menu! Just tell him/her that you are saving up for your life together and/or that huge engagement ring! He/she will be so happy that you're thinking ahead into the future! But actually, you will be thinking about only one thing... step #3...

3) Dump that bitch! V-Day is so fucking expensive that you're better off single! Dump your significant other and head down to the bar where single girls/guys will be so wasted and lonely that they will fucking throw themselves at YOU!

Consider yourself eduKayted.

eduKayt's Tip of the Day 2/15/10: Buckle Up!

2010-02-12T10:35:00.000-08:00

You might think this is pretty obvious, but there are still people out there who don't wear their fucking seat belts! If you don't have your seat belt on and you get into an accident you are a MILLION times more likely to be thrown from the vehicle or at least tossed the fuck around. So, please, BUCKLE UP! It will save your LIFE and save your WALLET! We all know... click it or ticket! And those pigs are getting desperate and will have no qualms about writing you a huge ticket for not having your sexy seat belt on!

Consider yourself eduKayted.